The Field Trip
by PaperHat
Summary: The team get the chance to get out of the office. Trouble looms in all directions for the team as they have their adventure. Contains spanking, don't like, don't read.
1. The Bad News

**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - I've been plagued with laptop problems, but plans are in hand to resolve the issue!**

**WARNING - There is none of my usual warnings for this story....just yet! This is a Work in Progress fic, so the warning might just change, it all depends where my Muse takes this one. If you are not comfortable with reading potentially about adult punishments, in what ever form, then don't start to read this story. Simple as that. You've been warned.**

**Oh...so far this is panning out to be the longest story I've written! And it aint finished yet....woo hoo!**

**Happy Holidays to one and all**!

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"No! No! No! No! No!"

Jethro Gibbs stood rigidly to attention, his face clearly showing his disapproval.

"Jethro, this is..."

"No way Jen! It's bad enough trying to keep them under control when they're in here _and_ out in the field, but taking them to this..._thing_...is asking for trouble!"

Jen lowered her head and gave him her usual 'I don't care' smile, trying to soften her team leader's resolve.

"No Director, that won't work!" he protested.

"Jethro..."

"DiNozzo, will try to hit on every woman he sees!"

"Mmmm..."

"You know that there's every possibility that Ziva'll start an inter-agency fight!"

"Jethro..."

"Hell, McGee'll probably wet himself on any new gizmo he gets his hands on, and Abby'll just freak out because she's out of her lab!"

Folding her arms, she looked at him more seriously and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you finished?"

He huffed in response and folded his arms, defiantly mirroring her stance.

"This is an excellent opportunity for both you and the team and I think you guys need a break..."

"We don't..."

"...I think you guys need a break from your routine, and to see what everyone else is getting up to, refresh your knowledge, do some team bonding!"

He narrowed his eyes, and concentrated intently, his stare fixed on her. She stood her ground through the silence.

"Two days Jen, come on, we don't need this, we need to be in the field!"

She smiled gently, "Cynthia has already booked your places and is dealing with your travel and hotel reservations right now. You really do not have a choice, Jethro."

"You know, I think I liked you better when you were a Probie, Jen," he growled in protest.

She rose from her desk, brushed past him, held the door open for him and called to Cynthia.

"Cynthia, Special Agent Gibbs and his team will be attending the International Investigators Forum Conference in London can you provide him with all the details please?"

Cynthia nodded and grinned at Gibbs, "I've sent all the details to your mailbox Special Agent Gibbs, including travel reservations, details of your hotel and your conference registrations."

Jen tried desperately to stifle her laugh, "Have fun, Special Agent Gibbs...and just remember to keep an eye on the kids, mommy doesn't like it when she has to clean up their mess with SECNAV."

With a scowl, Gibbs stormed away and headed towards the stairwell. He began bounding down the stairs but slowed his pace as he witnessed the scene in the bullpen. Ziva was attempting to prise the plasma screen remote from Tony's hand as he lay pinned down on the floor, meanwhile Tim and Abby were rewiring the inside of Tim's new cell phone. He sighed heavily as he neared the bottom stair and closed his eyes momentarily.

"Two days in London, hell, what could possibly happen in forty eight hours?"

_To be continued..._


	2. Whoopees and Warnings

**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

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The tension was high outside of the NCIS conference room where they had been ordered to gather. They each reflected with silent speculation as to the purpose of their meeting as they patiently waited for Gibbs arrival.

Tony paced up and down nervously, his brow furrowed as he racked his brains trying to think about what he had done, or not done, that would warrant being summonsed by Gibbs.

Tim leaned against the wall. Perspiration trickled down the side of his face as he worried over what _he_ possibly could have done to be included in whatever Gibbs was going to chew them out about.

Ziva watched out of the window, calm and expressionless. A shred of nervousness niggled in her stomach. She tried not to think about what Gibbs was going to say. There was no point in worrying. Whatever she had said, or done, that had met with his disapproval, would soon be accounted for. The consequences of whatever she was going to be blamed for, would inevitably be carried out. She found a sense of comfort in that inevitability.

Abby drummed her fingers along the wall, totally naive and calm about facing Gibbs. She brightened the hallway with a smile.

"So, I guess everyone is wondering why we are here huh? What's everyone thinking? What _have_ you been up to Tony?"

He gasped in response, "_Me_? I've done nothing Abbs! Really, this time I can't think of _anything_ that I've done, or not done."

His mind raced and all of a sudden he gulped and stood bolt upright, "You don't think he found out about the dentist thing do you?"

Tim and Ziva provided reassuring gestures and Abby looked confused,

"What dentist thing? You never told me."

He chuckled nervously, "The..uh...dental appointment I had last week, was actually with one of my college buddies, who _is_ actually a dentist by the way. He's...uh, leaving the country for a couple of years, so, technically I had an appointment with the dentist. It's just that it involved more drinking than...uhm...drilling!"

Abby's eyes widened, "God! Tony! If Gibbs finds out...he'll like...knock your teeth out permanently!"

Tim folded his arms, "He can't have found out anyway, because we wouldn't _all_ be involved. It's got to be something that we've _all_ done."

There was silence as minds continued to wander and search. It was soon broken, as Gibbs appeared stern faced, and walked straight ahead, smashing the door open and striding into the conference room. They followed in like sheep and stood quietly watching Gibbs take in a deep breath and then look at each of them in turn.

"We have an assignment. The Director has issued an order, for all of us to attend a two day International Investigators Conference. We leave tomorrow evening."

He steeled himself not to grin at the audible sighs of relief. Staring at them firmly, at their wide and exicited eyes, he continued,

"The Conference is being held..."

A deep breath followed, before he completed his sentence, "...in London."

Abby let out a squeal of delight and he tilted his head to the side and raised a warning eyebrow at her. She responded by slapping a hand over her mouth in an attempt to remain calm as he continued to speak.

"I've forwarded on all of the details to your email boxes, but I wanted to go through a few rules, before we go through with this."

Tony sighed and let his shoulders droop. Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Uh...you mean rules, in addition to your normal rules boss?" Tim enquired.

"Yeah McGee, some ground rules. That was we are clear and there is no excuses when we are in London."

Tim nodded his head and listened intently.

"Okay, first up, I want all of you to remember that you are representing this Agency during this trip. That means _no_ goofing off DiNozzo and _no_ physical violence Ziva."

He turned his attention to Abby and Tim,

"It also, doesn't mean acting like kids on Christmas day, when you two see any new gizmo or whatever they are trying to sell us. Are we clear?"

Four heads nodded dejectedly and Tony muttered quietly.

"What was that DiNozzo?" he growled,

Tony gulped, "Uh...just...uh...wondering what your take on goofing off was, huh, what my...uh...limits...were...kinda."

Gibbs rubbed his brow, "It _means_ Tony, that you _think_ before you consider playing any pranks, or pulling one of your stunts, or chasing skirts. Trust me, I guarantee, if you do not behave like the perfect little NCIS agent, there _will_ be severe consequences."

Tony paled as Gibbs continued,

"That goes for all of you! My gut says this is one bad idea. The Director's got this half assed notion that it's gonna be good for us. Well, my DI used to say the exact same thing just before he had us run for ten miles in the rain at zero five!"

Abby frowned, "But Gibbs, it'll be such an adventure! We'll be like ambassadors for NCIS! We will fly the flag for Naval Criminal Intelligence! We will make sure that everyone in England knows our names and what we stand for!"

Gibbs rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm, "That's what I'm afraid of Abby, everyone in England knowing NCIS for all the wrong reasons. Especially when you guys don't think before you act and end up shit creek without a paddle."

Tony stood tall and stuck his hands in his pockets,

"Don't worry boss! As Senior Field Agent, I'll make sure that we stay on the straight and narrow and we do _not_ let you down!"

Gibbs raised his eyebrow slowly and simply stared.

"Okay DiNozzo, I'm glad to see you taking your position seriously."

Tony smiled and then gulped as Gibbs narrowed his eyes at him dangerously.

"It's good to know whose ass I'm going to take it out on, when any of you _do_ let me down."

"But boss, when I said," Tony replied wide eyed, but was interrupted as Gibbs raised his hand to silence him.

"The details are in your email box, we leave tomorrow evening. Now, I suggest you read up on our schedule, because that's what we're going to be sticking to. To the letter."

Abby raised her hand and he exhaled, "Yes Abby?"

"When you say 'our schedule' and 'to the letter', there will be time for us to do some other stuff won't there? I mean it would be a shame to go _all_ that way and not see some of the tourist attractions. It's _London_, Gibbs; it's like a major European capital!"

"You're _not_ tourists," he replied sternly.

"Well, I for one would like to see the Tower of London," McGee smiled.

"Cool McGee! We could go on the London Eye! It's this huge Ferris wheel and you can see for miles!"

Tim winced, "I don't know Abby that's a little too high for me. You know me and heights!"

"Perhaps we could spare some time to attend one of their theatres. London has a reputation for the number of theatres it has," Ziva added.

Tony beamed excitedly, "We could go see Grease! That was such a classic movie, I remember it being shown at Christmas when I was a kid and I remember drooling over that scene with Olivia Newton John in those black leath...OW!"

Gibbs fixed the team with a serious glare after his hand collided with the back of Tony's head.

"We are _not_ deviating from the schedule! Can I remind you that we are attending an Investigators Conference? We are _not_ on some God-damned vacation! There will be _no_ tourist attractions _or_ theatres _or_ black leather of any kind. Do I make myself clear?"

They all quickly nodded and then with a nod from Gibbs, exited the conference room. Tony closed the door behind him and sighed. Abby threw her arms around him.

"Tony, as Senior Field Agent I think you should get Gibbs to lighten up," she whined as she burrowed her head into his neck.

He huffed as he gently lifted her and held her at arms length. He then stood for a few minutes, staring at the glum faces of his co-workers, before slowly beginning to grin. Casually, he placed his hands in his pockets.

"As my good friend Sean would say, I sherve at the pleashure of Her Majesty the Queen, so prepare to gear up people, becaushe Shpecial Agent DiNozzo, Anthony DiNozzo, ish gonna make shure we have shome fun in Her Majesty land!"

"YAY!" Abby squeaked as she spun around and skipped towards the elevator.

There was a renewed sense of excitement as the team bounded back to their desks. Everyone was eager to find out more about their trip, and happier that they would be able to work some fun into the schedule. Even if it had to be done behind Gibbs back.

In the conference room Jethro Gibbs stood motionless and silent. His Marine training immediately kicked in and set his mind racing through various worse case scenarios. He visibly shook himself from his train of thought and headed towards the door.

"As long as they've got decent coffee, I'll be fine," he muttered.

_To be continued..._

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	3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

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**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

A/N Guys I want to thank you so much for all of your reviews. You are just the best!

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"This is a final boarding call for passengers DiNozzo and McGee travelling on flight ATR304 to London Heathrow. Please be advised that your plane is currently boarding at gate 26A. If you do not board within the next five minutes, your luggage will be removed, and, you will be denied access to travel. That's a final and urgent boarding call for passengers DiNozzo and McGee travelling to London Heathrow, on flight ATR304"

"Where the hell are they?" Gibbs growled as he stood with Abby and Ziva at the security podium at the gate.

A few moments later, Tony and Tim raced towards them. The stopped in front of Gibbs and were breathless from running. Tony gasped,

"S...sorry boss...McGee needed uh...some...uh...flying medication...and I got stuck in the head...sorry."

Two particularly hard head slaps later, the five of them were making their way down the walkway heading towards the plane.

"McGee, where you sitting?" Tony whispered as they made their way up the aisle.

"I'm sitting next to Abby," came the reply with a satisfied smile.

Tony looked at his boarding card and his face fell.

"Aw man, no! There is _no_ way I can spend seven hours sitting next to Gibbs! The back of my head will look like something from the elephant man by the time we land in London."

McGee continued to grin, "And there is _no_ way I am swapping with you. Abby and I are sitting in one row and then you and Gibbs and Ziva are sitting behind us."

Tony felt the familiar thud once more on the back of his head. Gibbs growled softly in his ear.

"If you _prefer_ standing I can sure as hell give you a good reason to."

Rechecking his boarding card, Tony quickly found his row and sat in the seat nearest the window. Gibbs took up the middle seat and Ziva sat at the aisle.

After a few uncomfortable moments as they settled in, Tony retrieved the in-flight magazine. He immediately thumbed through it to find out what movie would be showing and as he scanned the page he beamed a wide smile,

"Hey boss, they're showing 'Snakes on the Plane'. That's a _really_ cool movie. It's not exactly one I'd actually show on a plane, but it's a _great_ movie. You see there's this guy who is taken on board and what they don't realise is..."

It took only one look, and Anthony DiNozzo's face fell. He calmly and silently replaced the in-flight magazine back into his seat pocket and folded his arms, turning cautiously, to stare out of the window.

The evening flight pretty much guaranteed a peaceful journey and it wasn't too long into the flight when all of the team were sleeping soundly. Gibbs, of course, had been the first to fall asleep, his Marine training kicking in instinctively. He was quickly followed by Ziva who buried her face into a small pillow and then began to snore gently. Tony had wrestled with drowsy eyes and decided to annoy Tim and Abby however, when he stood up and peered over, he found them cuddled up together, sleeping soundly. He sat back down in his chair and as Ziva's increasingly louder snores began to drum in his head, just a few decibels over the engine noise, he forced himself to close his eyes and think about what they could possibly get up to in London. Recalling his internet searches of the previous day, his mind slowly drifted from one tourist attraction to another. Before long, the Senior Field Agent had his head slumped on his boss' shoulder and his mouth was hanging open, leaving a trail of dribble onto the former Marine's shirt.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent to London"

Gibbs had blinked awake as soon as they announcement had blared through the cabin. He jerked his shoulder and Tony woke up, startled at the jolt to his neck. He then turned his attention to the snoring Ziva David,

"Officer David!"

She awoke instantly and glanced at both Gibbs and Tony with wide eyes.

"I am awake. I assume we are approaching our destination," she said quietly.

Gibbs nodded with a wry smile and began stretching his neck. With his body awake, he licked his lips, already feeling the need for coffee.

Tony unbuckled his seat belt and stood up taking the half full bottle of water from his seat pocket. He leaned over to Tim and Abby and was about to trickle some water on them to waken them when he felt a sharp pain in his ankle.

"Ow!"

"Don't you dare DiNozzo! Now sit down and buckle up, just like the nice lady told you to do."

Tony sat down and rubbed at the side of his ankle, just as Gibbs stood and gently tapped Tim and Abby's head to rouse them.

"Oh Tim, did you know, that's the first time we've slept together in ages?" Abby yawned, stretching her arms upward.

Tim blushed and quietly responded, "Well, technically, we didn't sleep together, Abby. Generally you would only use that term if we had actually slept together as in slept together, not sleeping side by side together but actually sleeping together, together."

She chuckled and leaned in closer, "Relax McGee, I know what you mean."

She turned her head in the direction of the seats behind her and whispered softly just as McGee put his bottle of water to his mouth.

"That would be like saying that Ziva had just slept with Gibbs and Tony!"

McGee choked and the water spilled from his mouth all down his front. With a red face he scowled at Abby and she sat with a beaming smile on her face.

"Please do not do that again Abby!" he growled.

With only carry on luggage, the team made their way to the Heathrow Express Train bound for Paddington station. As they spilled out of the train and into the bustling station, they gathered around Gibbs.

"Where to now boss?" Tony asked, his head still twitching back and forth, trying to make sense of his surroundings.

"We'll get a cab to our hotel," he replied as he thumbed through his paperwork looking for confirmation of the hotel.

They soon found the line for the cabs and stood patiently. Soon, they progressed to the front of the line.

"Westminster Thistle Hotel," Gibbs snapped at the driver as the team bundled into the back of the big black taxi-cab.

"Americans huh?" the driver smiled excitedly as he peered in his mirror.

"Uh...yes, we are from...uh...America...sir," Tim spluttered, keen to avoid the silence.

"I had a Yank in my cab yesterday, there seems to be a lot of you lot around these days. You seem to come like good weather, some times it rains and you get a whole bunch of Americans and then its sunny and you never see you lot for months. First time in London?"

Tony leaned in and whispered closely to Abby.

"Did he say yank or...ooof!"

He put his arm around his rib cage where Abby had thumped him hard.

"Be nice Tony!" she pouted indignantly, "He's English!"

"He's crazy! I can't understand a word he's saying, I feel like Ziva!"

Abby whacked him once more and earned a glare from Gibbs.

Tim rolled his eyes, regretting responding to the drivers initial question.

"Well...it's uh...my first trip to London...yes."

The driver nodded and then made eye contact with Gibbs. The resulting glare was enough for him to keep his eyes firmly on the road, and not on the occupants of his cab. Arriving at the hotel came as a relief to all them and Gibbs paid the driver after shuffling through a small packet of British notes.

Gibbs led the way to check the team into the hotel. Tony and Tim both mumbled protests at the prospect of having to share. Abby hugged Ziva excitedly as they realised they too would be sharing. Ziva's only response was to roll her eyes.

"Listen up! Go rest and freshen up, we've got a couple of hours before the Conference starts and it's not far from here. I want everyone to meet here in the lobby at 0930 hours."

He narrowed his eyes, tired and weary from the journey.

"Do...not...be...late!" he said slowly.

In his own quiet room, Jethro Gibbs dumped his bag onto the bed and scanned the room. He quickly found what he was looking for and, having fixed it, waited patiently. After the few minutes, he put the small cup of coffee to his mouth and sipped it slowly and then quickly spat it back into his cup.

"What the? Where the hell is the nearest Starbucks?"

_To be continued...._


	4. Seminar Surprises

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**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

Seasons Greetings to one and all!

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"Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Tim and I want to go to the exhibition, there's this really cool new mass spectrometer that speeds up the processing time, like a zillion times faster than my old one. Would it be okay if we both skipped the 'DNA as Evidence' seminar?"

"No"

"What?"

"You heard me, I said no!"

"Aw come on Gibbs, pleeeeaaasse! It's a new mass spec. It's awesome!"

Gibbs raised a warning eyebrow. Abby, however, was still in full protest mode.

"That is _so_ not fair, I could pretty much deliver that seminar standing on my head, it's not like its going to teach _me_ anything. Technically, it's a waste of time for me and McGee! Come _on_ Gibbs, we won't actually buy anything, if that's what you are worried about. Please Gibbs? _Please_?"

He continued to frown at her sternly, letting his silence reaffirm his decision. She titled her head and pouted.

"Won't work Abbs, we are all going to the Seminar. Do you remember what I said before we left the Navy Yard about acting like a kid at Christmas?"

She huffed and folded her arms defiantly. He took her shoulders firmly and spun her around in the direction of the Seminar room and whispered in her ear.

"Drop the attitude or else the most _you'll_ see of London will be the view from your hotel window."

She spun round and threw him a scowl and he simply stared in response. Not knowing when to quit, she snapped back at him.

"Sitting bored in a seminar or sitting bored in a hotel room, there's not like, _that_ much of a difference!"

He leaned in close. So close, that his nose was almost touching hers, and he growled, his Marine he voice kicking in almost instinctively in the face of defiance.

"Final warning Abbs, else you won't exactly be _sitting_ in the hotel room."

She paled, realising that she'd reached her limit on testing his patience. She could only gulp before almost running to join McGee, Ziva and Tony who were waiting at the door of the seminar room.

The large room was packed and they managed to find some seats together at the back. The presenter droned through a short presentation and then asked for questions. Abby and Tim slouched in their chairs totally disinterested. Ziva and Tony stared straight ahead with disinterest. Eventually a hand shot up from the middle of the room.

"What about jurisdictional issues where DNA evidence shows up a suspect which should technically be the responsibility of another Agency? Who has the rights to the DNA evidence?"

The presenter smiled and gave a little chuckle,

"Sir, that is a question which arises frequently. For the benefit of the audience, would you mind identifying yourself and your organisation please?"

The man stood up and Gibbs stretched his neck to gain a clearer view.

"Special Agent Tobias Fornell, FBI."

Tony and Tim blurted out a loud laugh. Abby and Ziva giggled. Gibbs closed his eyes as those sitting close to them turned to see glare their disapproval at their outburst.

"Hey, boss, did you know Fornell was gonna be here?" Tony asked as he continued to snigger.

"No I did _not_ DiNozzo!" Gibbs whispered gruffly, "The two of you pipe down!" he added as he frowned at Tim.

Fornell sat back down in his seat. The presenter answered his question and then directed his gaze to the back of the room towards Gibbs.

"I...uh...got the sense of a comment or something, coming from the back of the room. Would anyone up there like to share their thoughts?"

Feeling a number of eyes on him, with an expectation to respond Gibbs stood up with a heavy sigh.

"Special Agent Gibbs, US Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Agent Fornell and I have a history of jurisdictional issues. They are _not_ for debate here!" he snapped.

The presenter smiled weakly and nodded. In their seats, Fornell and Sacks groaned as Gibbs sat back down.

"Boss, did you know Gibbs and his crew were going to be here?" Sacks sneered.

"The hell I didn't! I mean, what _is_ it with Jethro? He really takes that whole Marine thing _way_ too far. He's practically stalking me!"

Sacks sniggered, "Think we should get a restraining order for the rest of our trip boss?"

Fornell furrowed his eyebrows in gave a deep sigh of despair at the younger agent, "Shut up Sacks" he replied sarcastically.

As the Seminar ended, Gibbs and the team waited at the door to get a chance to speak to Fornell. Tony huffed loudly and folded his arms.

"If Sacks is tagging along with Fornell , I'm outta here!" he growled,

Gibbs turned around quickly and head slapped him.

"If he is here, you'll stay the hell where you are DiNozzo. I know you hate his guts, but you've every right to be here. Are we clear?"

Tony winced as he rubbed his head, "Crystal clear boss".

"Well, well, well, Jethro. I knew you missed our little conversations, but I think chasing me across the Atlantic is a bit much don't you think?"

Tobias Fornell grinned as Gibbs rolled his eyes. The two men took a few steps to the side, out of immediate earshot of the rest of the team.

"You get sent to this thing as a punishment too?" Gibbs snickered.

Fornell frowned and nodded, "I'm supposed to be bonding professionally with Agent Sacks, and, I quote, networking in the international arena of criminal investigation, whatever the hell that might mean."

Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle and Fornell's frown broke into a grin.

"Well, Tobias, why don't you and I leave the kids in the crèche for a while and we'll go 'network' in that 'international arena' of yours huh?"

Fornell nodded his agreement with a wry smile and the two men returned to the team.

Meanwhile, as the two bosses were in deep discussion, Sacks had joined the rest of the team. Tony narrowed his eyes at him and thrust his hands into his pockets.

"Agent DiNozzo."

"Agent Slacks." Tony replied with a growl.

"It's Sacks, DiNozzo! I'm surprised they let you in this country, with your track record."

Tony grit his teeth with anger and was about to advance on Sacks when Abby placed a hand on his arm.

"Don't rise to the bait Tony, he's just teasing you!"

Tim stepped forward in between them, "Yeah Tony, don't listen to the FBI. You know there isn't any point!"

As Ziva looked menacingly at him, Sacks rolled his eyes and sighed, "Okay, okay, enough already, I'm beginning to feel surrounded here!"

The tense atmosphere relaxed slightly and there were a few awkward moments of silence before he continued,

"You guys doing anything after we're done here? Fornell's about adventurous as a worm and I sure as hell don't want to spend _another_ night in a hotel bar or in my room!"

Ziva's menacing look softened and she smiled at the FBI agent, "Gibbs and Fornell are like clowns, they share the same opinion and mind thoughts."

"Much as I think you're correct, I think you probably meant _clones_, not clowns" Tim corrected her sweetly.

Ziva waved her hands before turning her attention back to Sacks, "We are intending to sneak out and see the city when we have finished here, you are welcome to join us!"

Tony threw Ziva a look, but quickly stopped when Abby thumped him in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for!"

She scowled at him, "You _know_ what for Anthony DiNozzo! Now you and Sacks are going to play nice, or else I'm ratting on you to Gibbs!"

He huffed and then smiled sarcastically at Sacks, "Okay, we'll call you, Slacks, and let you know what we end up doing."

"It's Sacks!" he replied indignantly.

Gibbs and Fornell returned to their side and with a nod of their heads herded them into the main reception area of the arena.

Abby whispered in Tony's ear, "You do have plans for us for tonight don't you Tony?"

He beamed a wide smile and winked at her and replied in a similar quiet tone,

"Trust me Abbs, by the time tonight is over, you are never, ever, gonna forget London!"

She smiled and grabbed his arm and headed for lunch.

"Just let's get this afternoon over with first," he sighed.

_To be continued..._


	5. Networkers and Exhibitionists

**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - Hope you are all enjoying 2009! There is still a number of chapters to come on this story. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and stuck with it. I'll try and update soon. In the meantime, enjoy chapter 5!**

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After lunch, Gibbs ordered the team to attend the two lectures scheduled for the afternoon, while he and Fornell went to network with their international counterparts.

"I don't think I can't stand another four hours of sitting in a lecture hall!" Tim whined as he leaned against the wall.

Tony gave a puzzled look, "What's the matter Probie? I thought _you_ of all people, Mr MIT, would love all that stuff. Those little lectures, and those little pre-school drawings that you call notes."

"They're _not_ pre-school drawings Tony, they're called _mind maps_."

The laugh came from deep in Tony's stomach,

"Mind maps! Ha! In that case, you've got a pretty sick and twisted mind Probie! Oh, how is your new book by the way, talking of sick and twisted minds?"

Tim smiled sarcastically, choosing not to respond to Tony's immaturity.

"Why don't we skip the lectures and go to the exhibition!" Abby exclaimed.

Sacks held up both hands, "Hang on, you heard Fornell and Gibbs, they were pretty adamant that we had to attend the lecture."

Tony's head snapped around and he snickered, "What, you a big scaredy chicken, Slacks?"

"I've told you before, its Sacks!" he growled with increasing frustration at Tony's teasing.

"It _is_ a better alternative than attending a lecture," Ziva interjected with a grin.

With an agreement reached, the team, together with Agent Sacks, headed to the huge hall, filled with company stands.

"So, what is the point of this?" Ziva asked with a confused look.

"It's a selling thing Zee-vah! It's a chance for companies who sell stuff to different agencies to try and get you to buy their most updated product."

The smile grew wide on her face and her eyes lit up, "Will there be weapons?"

Tim chuckled, "Uh, no, what you'll find is a bunch of boring drop out employees who'll simply throw you a glossy leaflet. If you're lucky, perhaps you may get a stress toy or a candy bar to entice you in to talk to them."

"I'm just here for the free stationery!" Abby squeaked excitedly as she scanned the room looking for a company she recognised.

"Tim, come on, there's the new mass spec!" she added as she grabbed McGee by the arm and started dragging him to one of the stands.

Tony stood tall and took in a deep breath, "Okay, Ziva, let's go mingle and see how many toys and candy bars we can pick up."

She rolled her eyes, and trailed behind him and Sacks as they began to shuffle from one stand to another, furtively collecting all of the freebies they could get their hands on.

Jethro Gibbs took in a huge lungful of air as he stepped out of the conference arena with Tobias Fornell at his side. He narrowed his eyes and, with the skill of the sniper he once was, he scanned the bustling London street from left to right, searching for his target.

"Well Jethro?" Fornell snapped.

"Hang on Tobias. You know, you'd never make a sniper. You've got no patience," he responded quietly.

"Gibbs, come on, I'm dying here!"

Straining his neck and eyes a little more, eventually a grin broke across Gibbs face.

"Target acquired!"

He quickly snapped to his left hand side and nodded to Fornell.

"Come on, hurry up!" he chuckled as he marched quickly along the street.

The two agents eventually reached their target and stood outside for a moment with silent relief and gratitude.

"You don't think they like mess around with it do you, just because we're in Europe?" Fornell frowned.

"Nah, it's like burger joints, they're all the same. Same ingredients, same result. Might be a little different, but a whole lot better than the crap we've had so far."

Gibbs smiled, and, with another sigh, headed into Starbucks and found himself a seat. He gestured to Fornell to order the coffees. The FBI agent scowled as he reached for his wallet.

"Two black coffee's" he snapped.

"What size?" the young man serving, asked politely.

"As big as you got."

"Are you sitting in or taking it away today sir?"

"We're uh, staying here."

"Would you like a scone with your coffee's sir? We have a special offer."

"A what?"

"A scone sir."

"What the hell is a, _scone_?"

"It's a scone, sir. A, scone!" the boy replied, a little flustered.

"I heard you the first time, but you didn't answer my question. _What_ is a 'scone'?"

Gibbs joined him at the counter and smiled sweetly. He placed his hand on his shoulder and turned him around, guiding him firmly to his seat.

"Just the coffee, thanks," Gibbs replied to the young man, who breathed a sigh of relief and smiled gratefully before turning to make their coffees.

With two large coffees in hand, Gibbs returned to his seat and put one in front of Fornell.

"Calm down Tobias. It's here."

Fornell simply grinned and inhaled the aroma of the hot coffee.

"So Tobias, I'd say, I could handle this networking for the rest of the afternoon huh?"

The two men smiled wryly as they leaned back in their chairs and took their first welcome sips of coffee.

Back at the exhibition, Tony DiNozzo decided that by some unknown law of science, that his ability to juggle did in fact increase if he stuck his tongue out to the side.

"Eight, nine, ten, ha!" he beamed as he completed ten seconds of juggling with three stress balls.

Sacks sighed, and slouched against the wall, "Put your balls away DiNozzo. Nobody wants to see you playin' with them anymore."

Ziva snorted a laugh and earned herself a scowl from Tony.

"I cannot believe Director Shepherd sent us all the way over here to get, stress toys!" she snapped with increasing boredom.

Tony rolled his eyes,

"We're _not_ here just for the toys! We're supposed to be finding out what's hot in the world of criminal investigation _and_ doing all the buddy-buddy stuff with people from other agencies. If you want to go make nice and get some new friends, go right ahead. I, for one, am getting a little disappointed. So far, I've asked about _seven_ vendors for their telephone number and where they're staying and all they've given me is a glossy brochure on surveillance software or a pen. A man can only write with one pen at a time!"

"Actually, if you're ambidextrous, you _can_ technically be using two pens at the same time," Sacks said smugly.

Tony glared at him "Shut it Slacks, else I'll find another use for a pen that'll involve one of your freakin' nostrils!"

Ziva huffed loudly at the two men squaring off, "Well, I am bored with this now. Where is Gibbs?"

"He's uh...networking...apparently...with Fornell," Tony replied, still glaring at Sacks.

As she growled she began to smile at the approaching Tim McGee and Abby Scuito.

"Hey guys! This is _such_ a really cool place!" Abby beamed excitedly.

They groaned in response and she frowned, "Where's Gibbs?"

"Networking with Fornell!" they responded in unison.

Tim folded his arms and scowled at Abby, "If I were you, I'd think myself lucky that he is out of the picture right now Abby!"

Tony stood bolt upright and placed his hands on Abby's shoulders.

"_What_ have you done? Tell me. Come on, spill to Uncle Tony!"

"Nothing," she replied sheepishly.

"Probie?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrow.

"I tried to stop her Tony, but she wouldn't listen!" he snapped defensively.

Tony turned to face Abby once more, and he tipped her chin up, so that she looked him in the eye.

"Abby?" he said gently.

The pout only lasted a few seconds more till she broke into a wide smile.

"I've got a new, state of the art, mass spectrometer!"

The team gasped and Tony lifted his head, raising his eyes to the ceiling.

"Oh shit Abby! How much?"

"Tony! The value of solving cases can not be measured in the fiscal sense. When you guys are tracking the murderer, of one our nations finest Marines or Sailors, you don't think about how much a piece of equipment costs!"

"How much?"

"You don't ask how much a _test tube_ is, do you?"

"How much?"

"Just think, with my ability to help solve your cases even faster than I do now, I can pretty much guarantee no more weekend working!"

"How much?"

"In the grander scheme of things Tony, it wasn't that much, dollar for dollar!"

"How...much?"

"One-ninety five."

Tony squeezed her shoulders a little harder and swallowed.

"One hundred and ninety five dollars?"

She bit her lip and shook her head from side to side slowly.

"How many zero's?" he grimaced, in anticipation of her response.

She raised her hand and slowly extended three fingers. He groaned instantly.

"Aw, shit Abby, he's gonna _kill_ you for buying that! Oh no, hang on, he's gonna kill _me_, for letting you buy that!"

Tony turned and whacked Tim across the head.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?"

"That was for not watching my six, by letting her clean out the entire NCIS budget!"

Ziva giggled, "Oh Abby, I think that your mass spec thing is going to create mass problems for you. But most of all for Tony!"

Tony scowled at her and then turned to Abby,

"Okay Abigail, here's what your gonna do. You're gonna get your little goth-like butt back to that stand _and_ you're gonna speak ever so nicely to the kind person who twisted your arm and your gonna get them to _cancel_ your order!"

"But Tony!" she whined.

He tilted his head to the side and spoke quietly.

"If Gibbs finds out you've spent two hundred thousand dollars without him knowing, you _know_ who he's gonna take it out on don't you?"

She eventually nodded and heaved a sigh as Tony continued,

"And you and I both know, what _that_ means. And, for the record, can I remind you that it is a seven hour flight back to DC. Now, after Gibbs points out the fact that I should not have let you buy your new toy I am definitely not going to want to face sitting during a seven hour flight am I?"

Abby looked at him with her wide puppy dog eyes.

"I suppose not. Okay, okay, I'll go speak to the guy and save your ass, again!"

"That's my girl! Now go do what Uncle Tony says and when you come back, we'll talk about what we're doing tonight."

She hugged him and then headed dejectedly into the exhibition.

Tony heaved a sigh of relief and closed his eyes, shuddering at the thought of Gibbs reaction to Abby's purchase.

Five minutes later Abby returned. She pouted and gave Tony a weak thumb up, without even looking at him in the eye. Ziva folded her arms and sank to sit down on the floor beside Sacks and Tim and huffed at Tony.

"So, Senior Field Agent, what _do_ you have planned for us tonight?"

"I thought Slacks, Probie and I could check out the wild side of London. You know, see if English girls really do have stiff upper lips. I thought you and Abby could go girl shopping in Oxford Street. Apparently that is _the_ place to go. Then, after your little cutie pie bonding thing, we could all meet up at Covent Garden or Piccadilly Circus. We could maybe head for a show, then high tail it back to the hotel bar for a few midnight cocktails."

Ziva frowned, "Why can't Abby and I go with you to check out if English men are stiff?"

Tony laughed nervously, "Because! You can't! You two go shopping and get girl, shopping, things! Buy shoes, or something!"

She narrowed her eyes at him dangerously and he gulped. He then started to slowly retreat backwards as Abby's glare also began to pin him down.

"Whoa! Wait a minute! I thought you guys would like to shop! That is what girls do isn't it? And I'm pretty sure that you both are...girls! Certainly in the physical sense, you are...well...Abby...is..."

It took about a second and a half and Ziva had Tony's arm painfully thrust up behind him and his face squashed into the wall.

"Aaaooww! Ziva! I'm sorry okay! Ooww! My arm god-dammit!"

She smiled and turned her head to Abby,

"Men or shopping?"

Abby returned the smile with a wicked glint in her eye.

"Oh, definitely men. I want to check out the young versions of Ducky!"

Ziva tightened her grip on Tony's arm and he yelped.

"Haaooww! Okay, okay, we'll all go! Just let me go! Please!"

She loosened her grip and stroked the back of his head gently.

"I knew that you would see sense after a little, girl power, persuasion."

Tony winced as he rubbed his shoulder,

"Okay, let's head out of here, before Gibbs and Fornell get back. You figured out that underground tube map yet Probie?"

_To be continued..._


	6. The Sights You See

****

**Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - Another chapter of the team's exploits in London. Please permit a little creative licence with the Tube scenes, if they are not entirely accurate. Also, I hadn't planned a Guards scene, but there were a few comments on this in the reviews, so I've worked it in. I hope you like it.**

* * *

In full stealth mode, the team made their way out of the conference arena. All eyes were nervously twitching back and forth searching for sight of Fornell and Gibbs. Soon they were out in the bustling street and clear from danger of being spotted in the crowds.

"Okay, I'm hungry, let's go for pizza!" Tony beamed, rubbing his stomach.

Ziva snorted at him with disgust, "You are a pig! It has only been one hour since we had lunch!"

"Hey! I have a healthy metabolism," he replied and stuck out his tongue.

She extended her arm slowly and began tracing her finger slowly down the front of his shirt and twirling his buttons.

"Your _healthy_ metabolism is starting to make the little buttons on your shirt, creak with the strain."

Finishing her comment with a sneer, she stuck her tongue out. He responded with a scowl, before pulling his jacket tightly across his chest.

"Guys, let's just take a walk before we go for something to eat huh? That way the rest of us can _work up_ an appetite." Abby decided with a wry smile at Tony.

They walked along the long road with Big Ben in their vision. Abby took several photos of the team, ensuring that they were all in shot. Sacks helped too, by taking some photographs of them all together. Next, they saw the entrance to Downing Street and Abby once more clicked away with her camera. As they wandered further on, they spotted the tall soldiers, with their fuzzy hats standing guard.

"Hey, aren't they the soldiers that aren't allowed to move?" Sacks asked excitedly.

Ziva smiled and glanced deviously at Tony. He immediately recognised that dangerous look. It was the one which often pre-empted trouble or a prank. It also pre-empted him getting slapped on the back of the head for being at the butt of said pranks. As Senior Field Agent, he had to act, and act fast.

"No! Ziva! Down girl!" he said firmly, placing his two hands on her shoulders.

"I am Mossad Tony. I can break this soldier. I will make him move!"

Tim, Tony and Sacks attempted to halt Ziva's struggle to reach the soldier. Abby, meanwhile, had taken up position in front of him. She stared hard, taking in every detail of the soldier from head to foot.

"Are you bored?" she finally asked the young Guardsman, who remained still, staring straight ahead.

"You must get a whole bunch of people coming up and trying to make you move huh?"

She folded her arms and sighed.

"Our boss, Gibbs, used to be a soldier. Well, a Marine actually. He'd probably chew me out big time for saying he was a soldier. You see, Marines are different from soldiers. They still do a lot of the same things, but Gibbs will definitely tell you that a soldier is _totally_ different from being a Marine."

With no obvious response or movement from the Guard, she continued,

"I work with Marines and sailors. I'm a forensic scientist with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service and I help them with all of their evidence. _I_ am one of few people that can murder someone and _not_ leave any trace evidence behind. Isn't that _cool_? I guess if that doesn't scare ya, nothing will huh?"

She sighed once more at the lack of response, and narrowed her eyes at the Guards' bearskin hat.

"I wonder if you could feel a Gibbs slap through one of those?" she whispered.

Finally, she took her camera and snapped several photographs. She stood tall and brought her hand to her brow in a stiff salute.

"Semper Fi Mr Guard! That's uh, like a Marine thing, for good luck."

Tony glanced over and rolled his eyes,

"Abby, will you _please_stop harassing that poor guy and help us with Ziva!" he yelled as he continued to struggle, in a sea of flailing arms, to stop Ziva approaching the Guard.

She calmly walked up and smacked both Tony and Tim hard upside the head. They instantly let go of Ziva and rubbed their heads.

"Owch! Abby! You been taking lessons from Gibbs? That _seriously_ hurt!" Tim whined.

"She won't break him you know. He's been trained _not_ to respond to _anyone_ or _anything_. Even Mossad Ziva, sorry," she replied with a sympathetic smile.

Ziva, now released from her captors, smoothed down her clothes and walked calmly up to the Guard. She glared at him hard for a few moments.

"I once knew a man who deliberately ignored me."

She smiled gently, lowering her eyes and tilting her head and stood closer to him,

"When I was finished with him, he looked like a yoga instructor. It took three people to remove his foot from behind his head. They do say that the muscles were irreparably damaged. Personally, I think they were just, _teasing_ me."

She narrowed her eyes and snarled in his face.

The Guard visibly swallowed hard and his eyes flickered slightly. He remained resolute and still, at his post.

She continued to stare uncomfortably at the poor, young man, long and hard as the team stood behind her.

"Look, Ziva, can we go now and leave the poor guy in peace? I'm hungry!" Tony complained with a whine.

Her eyes were still fixed on the Guard when all of a sudden she jumped in front of the him and shrieked loudly.

"Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!"

The soldier blinked in surprise at her outburst and then instinctively moved his rifle to his chest with stiff precision. He swooshed it onto his shoulder, and took a huge stride forward. He smartly turned to his left and marched a few paces, before turning and marching back and coming to a final halt in his original position.

Ziva smiled with satisfaction and dusted off her hands.

"There has never, _ever_been a man, Mossad couldn't break!"

"EXCUSE ME! Young lady!" the voice bellowed.

A tall policeman, who had witnessed Ziva's taunting, approached her and tapped her firmly on the shoulder.

Without thinking, and as a result of years of Mossad training, she spun around in a flash and took a vice like grip of the officers arm. She twirled the man around and locked his arm painfully up his back. She launched him against the huge iron fence.

"ZIVA STOP! It's a COP!" the team yelled.

She immediately released her grip, and the stunned policeman rubbed his shoulder, gasping for breath.

"What the _bloody hell_ are you playing at?" he barked as he grimaced in pain.

"I am sorry, I am too a law enforcement officer. It is a natural instinct for me, when approached from behind. I apologise."

The policeman, sensitive to her accent and that of the rest of the team, took out his notebook. He exhaled deeply and muttered under his breath, "bloody tourists!"

"Name!" he scowled.

Ziva rolled her eyes and took out her badge,

"Officer Ziva David, US Naval Criminal Investigative Service. I am the Mossad liaison."

The officer took her badge and inspected it for a few moments before handing it back to her.

"Okay, Officer David, I'll let you off with a warning, _this_ time. These boys have a job to do, and it doesn't help when people like you try to do stupid things. Like make them move and stuff. It's not acceptable behaviour and we don't want _that_ kind of thing round here. If I catch you harassing members of the Queens' Guards again, I'll have you up New Scotland Yard quicker than you can say Metropolitan!"

"Metro what?" she frowned sarcastically.

The policeman pouted and waggled his finger in her face, "You asking to be arrested?"

She was about to grab the offending digit when Tony stepped up to the policeman, blocking himself in front of Ziva,

"No, she is not, sir! Thank you officer, it's much appreciated. We won't cause any further problem, sir, you have my word. I am the Senior Team Leader and I will ensure that Officer David behaves more appropriately in future."

With a frown, the policeman gave a sharp nod and then walked on, leaving the team to sigh with relief. Tony glared at Ziva, who rolled her eyes and then smiled sarcastically. He then led the way as they continued down the street. They intended to return closer to the conference arena and catch a Tube at Westminster station.

"Okay, Westminster underground Tube station. Probie, how do we get to Covent Garden? The guy in the hotel said that there's some decent places to eat there, and a few bars."

Tim studied the Tube map hard, "Well...okay...uh...we can go back to Victoria then take a line north to Green park, change there and go east on the...uhm...dark blue...line or, we could go forward...I mean...uh...east, I think, to an Embankment. Then go on...uh...another line...and uh...change again and then eventually end up at...uh...Covent Garden."

Tim looked up to a sea of scowling faces.

"_What_? It's complicated! I normally do buses! I hate undergrounds. I get all...panicky!"

Ziva grabbed the map from him and began turning it round frequently and moving her head from side to side in an attempt to unravel its mystery. She also scanned the inside of the Tube Station and turned back to the map.

"Why do they call it a circle line when it is shaped like a bottle? I do not understand this. I vote we take a cab!" she finally said with bewilderment.

It was Tony's turn to grab the map from Ziva.

"It's _called_ the Circle line, probably after the guy who invented it! _And, _we are _not_ taking a cab!"

He thrust the map back into McGee's chest.

"You're in charge of Tubes McGee. Now lead on, before I slap your head so hard, and for so long, that you look like one of those Guards with the hairy hats!"

Tim glared in response, and with annoyed huff, headed towards the ticket machine to purchase five single tickets.

"Okay, we're heading this way, for the stop at Victoria," he stated, not so very confidently, as he led the way to the ticket barrier.

The Tube arrived, shortly after they had gotten to the platform, and they boarded for the short journey to Victoria station. Through the bustling crowds, they just about managed to stay together and Tim led the way to the next platform.

They boarded the second Tube, for the one stop journey to Green Park. Tony decided to break the almost mandatory silence which engulfed them, as they stood staring into nothingness.

"Hey Slacks, is this your first trip to London?"

Sacks rolled his eyes, "It's Sacks, stop calling me that! Yes, this is my first trip to London. I visited Scotland, the summer before I went to boarding school, but it's the first time I've been here."

"What was it like in Scotland?" Tim asked.

Sacks smiled wryly, "All I can remember was the rain. _And_ not understanding a word anyone said. _And_ getting totally confused watching a football game!"

Tony chuckled, "Ah, the old soccer versus football dilemma huh? You really should talk to Ducky on that one. I swear he could talk for hours on that alone!"

"Did you visit Edinburgh Castle?" Abby asked excitedly.

Sacks nodded and began providing more stories on his Scottish exploits. The team had lost track of their journey and were blissfully unaware that they were heading in the wrong direction. Eventually Tony frowned and he checked his watch.

"How big a park is this Green Park Probie? We've been on this subway for ages!"

A few minutes later and brightness once more seeped across the windows.

"That should be us now," Tim said confidently and then paled.

"Why are we at a place called, Vo, Vax? What is that? I cannot pronounce that!" Ziva muttered as she read the tube station sign.

Tim swallowed hard, "Uh...Vauxhall! Oh, God, I...uh...think we went in the opposite direction. Sorry guys!"

Groaning loudly, they quickly exited the Tube before the doors slid shut, and stood on the platform.

"Okay, so what do we do now?" Tony growled angrily at Tim.

"Uh...well...we uh...need to get back on the tube and...uh...go back the way we came, I guess."

"Ya think McNavigator?" he barked as he grabbed the map and handed it to Abby,

"Abby, you are now officially our navigator. Now get me, and especially my stomach, to Covent Garden before I go all _'Alive'_and start eating Ziva!"

She snapped her heels together, saluted sharply and stood at the opposite side of the platform.

Successfully catching another Tube, they soon disembarked once more at Green Park and navigated to another platform. Abby led the way with a beaming smile and confident strides. As the Tube departed, they each peered out of the window into the darkness, carefully waiting for the next stop to make sure they were heading in the right direction. The darkness turned lighter, and the Tube made its slow approach to the station. They glanced at the wall of the brightly lit station and the name 'Westminster'.

"ABBY!" they yelled in unison.

"Don't yell! I hate it when you yell!" she whined, placing her hands over her ears.

Ten minutes later, there was silence, as the team bundled into a black taxi cab.

"Any Italian restaurant in Covent Garden please!" Tony barked at the driver.

"And make it fast will ya?"

_To be continued..._


	7. Cells and Cells

******Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

* * *

The International Investigators Conference soon drew to a close for the day. Delegates began pouring out in constant streams, heading towards Tube Stations and into a line black cab taxis. Meanwhile, two federal agents made their way in the opposite direction through the sea of people as they returned from their afternoon Starbucks caffeine overload to collect their charges.

"So, Tobias, do you think Sacks and Tony will have managed to play nice?"

Fornell grinned and as they stepped inside the almost empty arena. He pulled his cell phone from his inside pocket and dialled a speed number and held the phone to his ear for a few moments, before he frowned and snapped it shut.

"That's strange, Sacks has his cell switched off. He _never_ has his cell switched off."

Gibbs smirked, his brain instantly recalling his own rule 3 and how he had burned it into the minds, hearts, back of the head and sometimes rear ends, of those on his team. He took his cell from his pocket and, still with a satisfied smirk on his face, dialled Tony's number. He held the phone to his ear and, after a few seconds, the smirk developed into a frown, exactly as Fornell had done.

"DiNozzo, call me back asap!" he snapped.

"Well, what do we do now?" Fornell asked.

"I don't know about you Fornell, but I'm gonna head back to my hotel, grab a shower and then try and find something to eat."

Fornell nodded, "Sounds good Jethro, what hotel you in?"

"Uh...Westminster Thistle. Less than a half a click from the Palace."

"Well aint it a small world Gibbs. After flying across the Atlantic, we both end up at the same conference _and_ at the same hotel. You still feel the same way about coincidences?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "I've told you before, I don't believe in them. But I sure as hell do believe in bad luck!"

They both walked back to the hotel. Their anger and displeasure increased at their futile attempts to get hold of the team. By the time they entered the hotel lobby, and made for the elevator, they were both extremely pissed.

"I'm gonna wring DiNozzo's neck when I get hold of him!" Gibbs growled as he slammed the elevator button.

"It's not like Sacks. Your team must be a bad influence Gibbs."

"Aw, save it! Sacks isn't exactly perfect is he? Don't you remember how he tried to screw Tony after the Chuck incident?"

Fornell huffed in response and then whacked the elevator button for his floor.

**------000------**

In the Italian restaurant, Tony almost choked on the large wad of pizza he had stuffed into his mouth as he checked his cell phone.

"Gibbs again?" Tim winced as Tony paled once more, at yet another missed call from Gibbs.

"You do realise, he's gonna kill me on this alone, don't you."

Sacks looked confused, "Everyone else on the team has a cell phone, why hasn't he tried to call them?"

Tony sneered sarcastically at him, "Because, Mister Simple Slacks, _I_ am the Senior Field Agent, _I'm _in charge, _I _am numero duo in the team!"

Tim sighed, "It also means, that it's _his_ head on the block when Gibbs finds out that we've all broken rule three."

"Look, I've asked you a million times, _please_ stop calling me Slacks. Now what's this rule three?" he asked, confused.

"Rule number three, _never_ be unreachable!" Abby piped up.

"So how does Gibbs normally deal with rule breaking?" Sacks asked innocently.

There was sudden silence at the table and finally all eyes set on Tony, who cleared his throat,

"He's a Marine. Let's just say, it's...uh...generally..._painfully_ clear that Gibbs is pissed off. So you tend _not_ to break the rules...uh...very often....or at least...die trying."

Sacks nodded his head lightly in acknowledgement and then went back to his pizza. The rest of the team exchanged sympathetic glances with Tony and they all silently returned to finishing their food. Tony looked at the team and sighed, he was the Senior Field Agent, and it was his responsibility to make sure that the team remembered this trip and had a great time. Although he felt the weight of his responsibility, he felt the even bigger weight of the potential consequences that carrying out those responsibilities might bring. He gave a smile small and in true DiNozzo style resolved that, whatever Jethro Gibbs had planned for him, the night was going to be one that they would never forget.

"Okay guys, let's finish up here and board the DiNozzo bus of fun!" he beamed.

"As long as it is not the DiNozzo underground Tube of fun, I'm sure we'll be okay," Sacks snickered.

After paying the bill, the team wandered around Covent Garden in search of the nearest bar which had some potential. After a few attempts, and several drinks later, they eventually settled in a nearby nightclub. Despite their earlier protests to accompany the boys and having already had a number of drinks Abby had convinced Ziva to accompany her on the 'London Ghost and Ghoul' walking tour. Abby had been so excited at the prospect, that Ziva was only too happy to join her, and enjoy the walk in the fresh air. The two girls said their goodbyes and promised to call Tony when they had returned to their hotel room.

Anthony DiNozzo was in full flirt mode, as he stood with two young brunettes on either side of him.

"So, you see my uncle is Harrison Ford, but I'm not supposed to tell everyone that, because they get a little, you know, with him being in some movies."

The two young girls stared wide eyed as they sipped their drinks.

"Oh my God! Harrison Ford is your _uncle_? He is _so_ hot even for a really old guy!"

Tim McGee snorted loudly as Sacks sniggered and began to slur,

"Yeah, DiNozzo stars in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Thick Skull!"

Whipping his head around, Tony scowled and whacked Tim on the back of the head.

"Hey! I didn't say anything! It was him!" he protested pointing to the tipsy Sacks who was desperately trying to stifle his laugh.

Tony looked dangerously at him, "Watch it Slacks! My patience isn't exactly limitless!"

He turned back to continue his conversation with the two girls and, noticing that they had abandoned him, groaned and then turned around once more to face Tim and Sacks.

**THWACK!**

He reeled backwards at the punch which hit him squarely on the jaw.

"My name is SACKS! You call me Slacks again and I _will_ knock you unconscious!"

In hindsight Tony should have instinctively heeded the words that Gibbs had often painfully drummed into him. Calm down and think before acting. However, in unfamiliar territory and facing the man who almost cost him his career and his freedom, he snapped.

Tony lunged forward his right fist immediately impacting on Sacks nose, his left hand grabbing his shirt, making sure that he was held firm for an onslaught of blows.

Sacks landed on the floor and started to grapple from Tony's firm grip.

"Tony NO!" Tim squealed as he grabbed the back of Tony's shirt, attempting to lift him from the FBI agent.

As Tony shrugged the attempt to get him of Sacks, he pushed Tim backwards and he fell into a crowd of four young men huddled together enjoying the start of their pub crawl.

In a matter of seconds, the four young men advanced on Tim. Tony stopped pounding the chest of the struggling Sacks in time to notice that Tim was in danger. He immediately got to his feet and lunged at the younger man about to lay one on Tim's jaw. Sacks too got to his feet, and the three men soon were in full fight mode with the four Englishmen.

As all hell broke loose in the nightclub, it did not take long before Sacks, Tim and Tony found themselves being hauled by a group of uniformed police officers, and thrown into the back of a police van.

"I'm FBI!" Sacks squealed in protest as he tried in vain to reach into his pocket for his badge.

"You'll be telling me you're Dirty Harry next!" the older policeman said as he shoved Sacks into the van.

"Maybe he works on the X-Files Guv," the younger policeman grinned as he tightened the cuffs on Tony.

"Officer, I can explain, we _are_ United States Federal Officers, I work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service and he _does_ actually work for the FBI!"

Looking at the dishevelled three men, the older policeman shook his head in disgust,

"Well why don't you phone your bosses at the FBI and the Navy what's-it and get them to confirm your story...after you've been booked!"

Within an hour, a young police officer slammed the cell door shut on the three young agents. The only sounds inside the cell were a faint whimper from Tim McGee, followed by a groan from Sacks. A whispered voice eventually came from Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

"We are _so_ dead."

_To be continued..._

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	8. Welcome to New Scotland Yard

******Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

****

**A/N - Thanks for all of the reviews and feedback guys, you've really spurred me on to keep on writing!**

* * *

In the early hours of the morning, Jethro Gibbs and Tobias Fornell continued to each nurse a glass of Jack Daniels in the lobby of the hotel. Abby and Ziva were seated out of their earshot and in complete silence, having been ordered to sit and wait for the boys.

"You really are a bastard Jethro," Fornell grinned.

Gibbs mocked a surprise look, "what gave you that idea?" he replied.

"That smirk on your face, after you'd dealt with Abby and Ziva."

Rolling his eyes in response Gibbs sighed,

"They both knew the consequences of my not being able to get hold of them on their cell phones. You know what they say, Tobias, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime!"

"I still say you're a bastard and anytime you want Sacks on your team for a short while you can have him. I think a couple of months with you might smarten up his attitude."

Gibbs scowled and as the silence lingered on he rechecked his watch. He then reached for his cell phone once more and dialled Tony's cell. There was no response. As he slid the cell back into his pocket, he heard the ringing tone and, realising it wasn't his, turned his head in the direction of the noise. He quickly stood up and walked over to Ziva as she flipped her cell open.

"Ziva! Thank God you're there! We need your help! We've been arrested and we need you to come get us out. They're not gonna press charges, but you need to get us out of here. If Gibbs finds out we are _dead_!"

Both Ziva and Abby paled instantly. Gibbs, having mouthed an order to Ziva to put her cell on speaker phone, and hand it over, bit his bottom lip with anger.

There were a few moments of silence before the exasperated voice of Tim McGee blasted through the hotel lobby.

"Can you hear me Ziva?"

"Oh, she can hear you McGee," the cold voice of Jethro Gibbs responded.

The whimper could be heard clearly through the speaker. In the corridor of New Scotland Yard, Tim McGee wiped the perspiration from his brow and tried to respond. His mouth flapped wordlessly.

"Uh...b..boss...it's McGee...we...uh...well...T..Tony and I…we..."

"Where the hell are you?" Gibbs snapped.

"Uh...w..we...are...uh..."

"Spit it out McGee!" he barked at Tim's inability to form a coherent sentence.

"Uh...New Scotland Yard...b..boss. It's just a few b..blocks from the...uh...hotel."

Gibbs closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Tim felt the overly long moment of silence in the pit of his stomach. This was a sure sign, that not only was Gibbs angry, he was 'silent' angry, which didn't bode well for them.

"Are Tony and Sacks okay?"

"Yes boss. The three of us are here. If you ask for a Chief Inspector Taylor when you get in, he'll speak with you about getting us out of here."

Tim exhaled slowly as Gibbs hung up the phone. As he stepped back into the cell, to join Tony and Sacks, he again let out a slow drawn out breath. He placed his hand on his brow, trying to calm down.

"Our Mossad hero coming to our rescue Probie?"

Tony beamed a wide smile which quickly dissipated at the sight of Tim's worried face.

"You did get through to her right?" he probed.

Tim nodded and then gulped, "She...uh...p..put us on speaker phone."

Tony frowned with confusion and then his stomach lurched into his throat.

"NO! Probie! Tell me he wasn't!"

Tim nodded affirming his worse fear, "He's mad...he's 'silent' mad Tony."

Tony paled and swallowed hard, "Oh shit!"

Sacks rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, when Gibbs get's here, he can get me out too, that way I won't have to face Fornell."

"Oh, he did ask about you. I think Fornell already knows," Tim replied sympathetically.

Sacks held his head in his hands and simply groaned.

In the cold, London night air, Fornell trailed a half step behind Gibbs as he marched double time into New Scotland Yard. Directly behind him, Abby and Ziva followed at a similar pace, still under strict instructions to be within Gibbs' vision at all times.

"Special Agent Gibbs, US Naval Criminal Investigative Service," Gibbs said smartly as he flashed his badge at the policeman at the desk.

Fornell too waved his badge, "Special Agent Fornell, FBI."

Ziva eyed the young policeman, and gasped. She recognised him as the one who had given her with a warning, earlier on in the day, for harassing the Guard. Immediately she tried to hide behind Abby. He frowned curiously at her, as he strained his neck to look around Gibbs.

"Excuse me miss, what are _you_ doing here? You're that young woman I gave a verbal warning to earlier aren't you? I hope that you haven't gotten yourself into trouble again!"

Gibbs raised his hand, "She's with me," he said calmly.

Continuing to frown, the policeman eyed Gibbs warily. "What _is it_ with you lot? First of all, I nearly arrest these two for harassing the Queen's Guards and _then_ your boys end up in a fist fight!"

Gibbs stared hard and he began to wilt. He shook his head with disdain and asked them to wait. A tall, plain clothes, officer approached the desk. Ziva, Abby and Fornell waited as he ushered Gibbs into an adjoining room and held out his hand.

"Welcome to New Scotland Yard, Special Agent Gibbs. I'm Chief Inspector Taylor, I do believe that you are responsible for the three men I currently have in a secure cell at the moment"

Gibbs inhaled and frowned, "Yes sir, that is correct."

"A drunken brawl that got out of hand I believe is how this all started. I think there was a crowd of young lads, one of whom seemed to have said something out of sorts to one of your chaps, and it all got rather ugly I'm afraid."

Gibbs scowled with confusion, "If they didn't start it, _why_ are they locked up?"

"_Protocol_ my good man, protocol. Our uniformed police officers were sure it was this group of younger men who started it. We did question your chaps, and they explained that there was some innocent bumping into this group of rowdy revellers, and then all hell broke loose."

Gibbs sighed impatiently, "Why the hell then, did you keep them _locked up_?"

"We need to issue them with a stern warning, and then, we can let them go!"

Gibbs rolled his eyes and huffed, "A _warning_! If they did nothing wrong, _what_ in God's name are you warning them about?"

The Chief Inspector shuffled in his chair with frustration, "We _all_ have our protocols, I'm sure back in America, you too have such things."

Gibbs took to his feet and began pacing around in frustration. He grit his teeth and eventually leaned over the table towards the Chief Inspector, with a steely stare.

"I want those men out here. NOW!"

"I'm afraid, I can not do that," Taylor responded sitting back in his chair and pouting.

"_What_?"

"There is a procedure to follow, and we, will follow it."

"If you give _innocent_ men a warning for doing nothing, I'd hate to see what you're gonna do to the other guys."

The Chief Inspector rolled his eyes and smiled weakly, "Oh, we let them go."

Gibbs flew into a rage,

"Are _you_ telling me, that you _released_ the perpetrators, _and_ locked up my men who are innocent in all this? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMNED MIND?"

"One of the, perpetrators, as you call them, is the son of a very important Member of Parliament. I had a direct call from the powers at be, ordering me to keep this low key."

There was a few seconds of silence before Gibbs grabbed the collar of the Chief Inspectors jacket and forced him against the back of his chair.

"GET MY MEN OUT. NOW!" he yelled in fury.

The Chief Inspector, scared out of his wits, hit a small button below his desk. Within seconds, three uniformed policemen burst into the room, grabbed Gibbs and quickly cuffed him.

"Get him in a cell!" he squealed, "crazy, bloody Americans!"

Tony, Tim and Sacks were startled, from their worried reflections, at the noise of the key clanking in their cell door which swung open.

"Boss," Tony grimaced, "before you say anything it _wasn't_ our fault!"

Gibbs scowled at him and the policeman banged the door loudly behind him as he was pushed inside.

Tony looked confused, "Boss?"

Director Jenny Shepherd was having a final check of her emails before attempting to leave the office early, for once, when a call came through. Having sent Cynthia home twenty minutes earlier, she lifted the receiver and sat back in her chair.

"Director Shepherd!"

"Good evening Director Shepherd, my name is Chief Inspector Taylor, New Scotland Yard. I'm afraid there's been a spot of bother, my dear. A chap called Fornell said that you would be the best person to speak to about your boys."

Jen closed her eyes and slowly pinched the bridge of her nose.

Ten minutes later, she placed the receiver down, closed her eyes and placed her head in her hands,

"I guess Mommy needs to make that call to SECNAV after all," she muttered before lifting her phone again and angrily pushing the buttons.

"There is _no way_ in hell you are getting away with this Jethro!"

After a lengthy and difficult conversation with the SecNav, Jenny had made further, difficult calls to the American Embassy and arranged for the release of Gibbs, Tony, Tim and Sacks.

With her chance of an early night well and truly screwed, she decided to pour herself some bourbon and check the last of her emails. She looked with curiosity, at the latest one in her mail box and was puzzled with the subject line.

"Gross budget overspend warning," she whispered to herself as she double clicked to open the strange email.

The glass of bourbon was slammed hard on the desk, closely followed by her fist banging down hard in fury.

"ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!"

_To be continued..._

* * *


	9. Jail Birds Fly Home

****

******Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - You may have noticed the warning on the summary. You've been suitably warned.**

* * *

Tim McGee groaned drowsily as the pounding in his head continued. It was only after a few minutes that he realised that it wasn't his head that was the cause of the thumping noise.

"McGee!"

The door of his hotel room continued to be pounded hard, and eventually, he recognised Abby's raised whisper.

"McGee! Open up!"

Blinking hard through his still sleepy eyes, he opened the door. He was immediately forced back against the wall, as Abby and Ziva stormed into the room.

"What happened at the bar last night?" Abby asked, as she shook Tony from his sleep.

"ON IT BOSS!" he barked, as he stood bolt upright. He ran his hands over his face, as he realised, Gibbs wasn't there. The wake up call had come from Abby.

"G'mornin' Abby. Ziva," he slurred in reply, and then excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Abby looked wide eyed at Tim.

"Come on! Tell us what happened last night?"

He swallowed hard and grimaced as he recalled the whole scene. With a groan, he flopped back down on the bed and held is head in his hands, unable to speak. Tony came out of the bathroom and Abby smacked him upside the head.

"Oowch! What was _that_ for?"

"I _swear to God_, if you don't tell me what happened last night!" she squeaked with growing frustration.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck,

"We got into a fight last night at the bar. We got arrested and ended up in New Scotland Yard. Then, when Gibbs came to bail us out, he got arrested too, for being one fist away from assaulting the Chief Inspector. Fornell called the Director, who called the American Embassy, who sent someone to get us released and smooth things over with the Met Police."

In the space of a few seconds, he had stunned the room into silence. Ziva placed a gentle hand on his cheek,

"And _we_ thought we got the worse deal last night."

"What do you mean, what happened to you guys?" he frowned with concern.

Abby put her arms around his waist and pouted.

"Gibbs caught Ziva and I coming in from the Ghost Tour, which was totally excellent, and he, uh, decided to, uh. You know when he really gets mad, and his entire body goes through that weird metamorphosis and thinks it's back in the Corps? And he does that thing where he straightens his back, and twists his neck a little, and that little part on his brow starts to move down towards his nose, and his eyes get that 'killer' look, and you think he's gonna somehow magically produce a ka-bar and slap you silly with it?

They all nodded.

"Yeah, well, he went all 'Crazy Gunny' and he punished us for not being reachable."

Tony hissed in sympathy and Tim snapped his head up.

"What did he do?"

She looked at him with wide eyes, glassy with tears as she recalled Gibb's punishment.

"The worse thing imaginable, Tony. He was _really_ mad!"

Tim stood and faced Ziva, "Come on, tell us! What did he do?" he asked.

Ziva inhaled and folded her arms, "Gibbs is sending us home early. We're leaving this afternoon, _and_, let's put it this way, it will be a very _uncomfortable_ journey for Abby and I."

Tony winced, "He, uh, you know. Like he normally does?"

Abby shook her head from side to side, "_Worse_ Tony! He's making us fly back coach! He's downgrading us from the business class fight and making us sit in the cheap seats."

Tony gave a small chuckle, "If_ I_ were you, I'd think that would be getting off damn easy, by Gibbs standards. At least you'll still be able _to _sit!"

His face slowly fell into a frown and he looked sympathetically at Tim, "I can't see us getting of that easy McGee, huh?"

Tim slowly shook his head from side to side and shuddered, "There's more chance of me hitting a home run at baseball."

Abby stuck out her bottom lip in sympathy and then hugged him hard.

"Okay, Gibbs said he'd meet us in the lobby at 0800 guys. You better hurry and get ready."

Just before 0800, Tim and Tony made their way to the elevator heading for the hotel lobby. As the doors swished open they could see Gibbs, Abby and Ziva waiting for them. They approached silently, unable to look Gibbs in the eye.

He stood staring at them for a moment, before he quietly issued his orders.

"The kid from the American Embassy informed me last night that we're under strict orders from the Director to, I quote, 'get our assess back to DC asap', so I'd say she's more than a little pissed off about what happened. We're all going home on the flight at thirteen hundred hours. After breakfast we gather our gear and meet again in the lobby."

He then turned his attention to Tony and Tim,

"Until we get back to the Navy Yard, you two will stick to me like glue. You will walk, where I walk. You will sit, when I sit. You will go to the head, when I go to the head. I do not want _either_ of you out of my sight."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice,

"_And_ when we get back, we _are_ going to discuss in detail, your behaviour last night."

Both Tony and Tim gulped and gently nodded their heads in acceptance of their fate.

Abby bit her bottom lip, trying to keep her words in her mouth. However, she failed, miserably,

"Where were _you_ yesterday, oh, great one?"

He raised his eyebrow in response, "_I_ was networking with Fornell and then _trying_ to get hold of my team!" he snapped.

"Aren't you gonna tell us what you got _arrested_ for?"

He looked at her dangerously, angry that she was pushing him,

"You're in enough trouble Abby. Don't go there. Not today," he growled.

Fornell and Sacks appeared from the elevator and joined them.

"Tobias," Gibbs said with a hint of a smirk, as he nodded to acknowledge his presence.

"Gibbs," Fornell replied, as he too, smirked in mutual understanding.

"The Embassy car will be here in an hour to transport us back to the airport."

Fornell nodded. Behind him, Sacks let out an audible sigh.

"I think Sacks has seen more than enough of London than he would care for. Isn't that right, Agent Sacks?"

"Uh...yes, sir," Sacks replied sheepishly. Behaving more humbly in front of his boss, it was clear that Sacks had obviously been punished.

Fornell and Gibbs exchanged steely glances. Gibbs inhaled and hesitated slightly before questioning further,

"Did you, uh, take that advice I gave you Tobias?"

The older FBI agent grinned, recalling the earlier advice he'd been given, to offer Sacks an alternative to the official sanctions that he had lined up for him.

"Sacks here wasn't really entirely keen on accepting your novel approach Jethro. So, he's gonna be denied all overtime working for the next month, restricted to desk duty for two weeks and doing Probie tasks until I decide he's learnt a valuable lesson, in conduct befitting an FBI agent."

Sacks couldn't look the team in the eye and stood with his head directed to the floor. Fornell folded his arms and frowned in his direction as he continued,

"However, he steps out of line within the next month, I may decide not to offer him the choice after all, and go straight for that alternative!"

Sacks immediately snapped his head up and his eyes widened as he gulped,

"B...boss! You can't! You said...." he began to protest, his mouth flapping in dismay.

Fornell raised a warning finger and Sacks quickly snapped his mouth shut and began staring at the floor once more.

Despite hating his guts for getting him into more trouble than he'd ever imagined, Tony DiNozzo found a shred of sympathy for the young FBI agent. He glanced over to Tim and sighed. There was an unspoken acknowledgement between them, that there wasn't a hope in hell, that they would heading for the luxury of desk duty or Probie tasks, where Gibbs was in charge of punishment.

They all headed into the breakfast area and silently ate before returning to their rooms to gather their gear. Gibbs accompanied Tony and Tim to their room and they silently packed up their belongings. They then waited patiently outside Gibbs' door as he quickly fixed his small carry on bag.

Soon, they were all waiting in the lobby, for their car from the Embassy. Gibbs eventually broke the silence.

"I'm going to the head. You two, with me!"

Tony rolled his eyes indignantly, "Come on boss, this is crazy! It's not as if we're gonna go anywhere! We don't need to hold your hand. I mean, uh, we don't need to go with you. In fact we don't need to go at all. It's probably best if we stay here. I mean, it's gonna look pretty hinky if we go with you, and don't do anything, right Probie?"

As he spluttered through his protest, he looked to McGee for support.

"I actually need to go. Sorry."

Gibbs beckoned Tony with his finger.

"You still racking up disobeying orders when you're already in a whole heap of trouble DiNozzo?"

Tony gave a resigned sigh and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"No boss! On your six boss," he said dejectedly.

The journey to the airport was tense and the silence almost unbearable. After checking in for their flight, they realised that everyone would be travelling back on an economy ticket as the only seats available. Tony and Abby sat together in the departure lounge and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"It's going to be a long seven hours Tony. I just want to get home now. I'm not having fun here any more."

Tony gave a small nervous chuckle, "It's not exactly gonna be fun when we do get home. I think we are all in the firing line for this one, including Gibbs."

"I haven't done anything!" she pouted.

With a grin, Tony raised his eyebrow, "Well apart from breaking rule three. You know, if I hadn't gotten you to cancel that order for your new mass spec, then you _would_ be joining McGee, Ziva and I for a little conference room tour!"

Abby smiled with relief. Suddenly she paled as the recollection of what she'd done, back at the exhibition, entered her head. The revelation hit her, in the pit of her stomach.

"T...Tony?" her voice wavered.

His brow furrowed with concern, "What's wrong Abbs?"

She held her forehead with both hands, "I didn't cancel the order!" she whimpered.

His face fell and his eyes went wide, "You wh...what?" he spluttered.

She sat up in her chair and began wringing her hands,

"I didn't cancel it, I thought I would do it today. I just wanted to have it a little longer! You don't think they'll put the order through that quickly? Do you? I didn't mean to order it, it's just that it was so cool and the guy asked me for all the details and before I knew it I was signing things. And it looked so new and shiny and I couldn't wait to take a picture of it back in my lab, and I didn't think about the money and......"

She threw her arms around Tony's neck and sniffled,

"I don't want to go home!" she whined.

Tony hugged her hard for a few moments, before he lifted her gently and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sure they won't have processed the order that quickly Abby. Don't worry. As soon as we get back to DC, you can clear everything with Accounting and the company. I'm sure it'll be fine."

She smiled at him sweetly, with complete and utter trust in his sincerity that everything would be okay, before slumping back in her chair.

"Did I tell you about the Ghost Tour?" she whispered as she snuggled into his shoulder once more.

Jethro Gibbs wandered to the window of the departure lounge, out of earshot, but with the team still in his vision. He dialled a number on his cell phone.

"You still extremely pissed off with me, or just slightly mad?"

Jennifer Shepherd sat up, straight as a poker, in her seat and inhaled deeply. She deliberately let the silence drift towards awkwardness before finally responding,

"I want you, and the rest of the team, to report to my office as soon as you land in DC. I'll be waiting here for you."

"Oh. From your tone, I assume I was right the first time. Jen, I can explain..." Gibbs started.

"What have you done or said to the team?" she snapped.

He closed his eyes momentarily and sighed. Dealing with Jen when she was in full 'Director' mode really tried his patience. He knew he was in trouble, but he sure as hell didn't need his former Probie rubbing his nose in that fact with her attitude.

"I'll deal with each of them when I get back," he growled, "I may be a bastard Jen, but I'm not a sadist making them sit through a seven hour flight after I'm through with them!"

"Fine! After I get to chew them out, you can deal with them in whatever way you want. And then....."

She relied on that awkward silence, once more, to dominate the conversation,

"...and then Agent Gibbs, you and I will be having a full and frank discussion on appropriate team leader behaviour. Let me make it clear, Special Agent, that the standards by which you discipline your team, damned well apply to you too."

Gibbs huffed with anger, "Dammit Jen, _I _was the one _protecting_ the team!" he snarled.

"Save your schoolboy excuses Jethro! It didn't work for you in the fifth grade _or _when you were in the Corps _or_ when you were Mike Franks' Probie. And it sure has hell won't work now, the situation _you're_ in!" she spat before slamming her phone down on him.

He snapped his cell phone shut and thumped the window ledge hard. At least he had seven hours to decide what the hell to do with his team and how to make his former Probie see some sense. His anger dissipated and he smiled as he gazed through the window. He found it particularly amusing that Jen even came close to thinking that he would willingly 'assume the position' for her, as he had done on numerous occasions with Mike Franks. He snickered quietly as he rechecked his watch, counting the time remaining till they boarded and whispered,

"Not a hope in hell Jen. Not a hope in hell!"

_To be continued..._


	10. Facing the Music

****

******Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - This is short chapter folks.**

* * *

Ziva David wriggled her toes in her shoes as the plane approached the runway and then landed smoothly. She stared calmly out of the window and pondered the fact that the flight had passed quickly. Most journeys she had experienced seemed to drag along when she had been desperate to reach her destination. However, it was ironic that despite her desire to get home, she did not want to return _that_ quickly to NCIS, knowing what was awaiting her and the rest of the team. She turned in her chair and smiled at Abby who was staring blankly into the headrest in front of her, he eyes fixed on the wisps of Gibbs silver hair clearly visible.

"I am sure it will be fine," she whispered with a smile.

Abby bit her bottom lip and reached over and flung her arms around Ziva's neck for the tenth time.

"Thank you Ziva!"

Ziva grimaced at the tight hug and then forced Abby's arms down,

"We should get our belongings Abby, we can go now."

Jethro Gibbs passed the bags along the seats to Tony and Tim, and then walked off the plane, striding quickly towards the exit. The team followed close behind him.

The air was thick with tension as the large NCIS car, transporting the team from the airport, arrived back at the Navy Yard.

"Special Agent Gibbs! Welcome back! Did you have a good trip in London?" Henry the burly security guard beamed.

"I had DiNozzo with me Henry. You can take a guess why we're all home a whole lot earlier than planned," Gibbs growled as he threw Tony a look.

Henry chuckled and shook his head from side to side, before frowning at the line of individuals he herded sheepishly towards the elevator.

Abby hugged him hard before she walked through the metal detector.

"Hi Henry I really, really missed you!" she said before planting a huge kiss on his cheek.

Even the elevator journey to the Director's office seemed to drag on. Gibbs led the way to the office, ignoring Cynthia, as always, and heading straight in.

"Well, well, well, am I glad to see you all back safe and sound," Jen said sarcastically, "at least this way, when I've got you in front of me, I can see for myself if you're playing hooky, harassing an armed soldier, participating in a drunken brawl, getting arrested or clearing out my budget!"

Gibbs rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. He had hoped, that after their long journey, that time would have calmed Jen down a little. Immediately, he went on the defensive.

"What do you mean, cleaning out your budget?"

Abby went wide eyed and gasped at Gibbs' line of line of questioning and Jen's last comment. She clung onto Tony's arm and whimpered.

Jen opened up a folder and withdrew the printed copy of the email and handed it to Gibbs.

"NCIS purchase number 506982, one mass spectrometer, ordered by Ms Abigail Scuito, approved by Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo!"

Tony stepped back in horror and squealed in protest,

"ABBY!! You never told me anything about putting my frickin' name to the thing!"

He quickly turned to Gibbs, "Boss! You gotta believe me! I knew _nothing_ about this! I swear!"

Ziva immediately sprang to Tony's defense, "Tony did tell Abby to cancel the order. I distinctly remember him telling her to cancel it, with the man who twisted her ankle."

"You mean her arm, Ziva," Tim added before turning to Abby, "See! I _told_ you what would happen if you ordered that stupid piece of equipment!"

"It's not stupid McGee, it's an entirely worthwhile piece of machinery! It'll speed up processing by over twenty percent. It's heaps shinier than the one I've got downstairs and it's got..."

"I don't care how damned shiny it is! The fact..." Jen barked,

"The fact is, I _told_ you to cancel it, never mind, putting my name on the order! When you said in the airport you forgot to cancel it, didn't that little fact _also_ enter your brain? I can't believe..." Tony butted in.

"I'm sorry Tony, don't shout at me!" Abby wailed as she wrung her hands.

Ziva put her hands on her hips, intent on her defense of Tony,

"He is only concerned because it looks like he approved, when he clearly did not, and that is why he is getti..."

"HEY!" Gibbs roared at the raised voices beginning to fall over one another.

There was immediate silence. Jen finally placed her hands on the desk and stood up, leaning over slightly,

"Abby, you _are_ aware that you do not have the authority to make budgetary purchases of that amount without my express permission. You _deliberately_ disobeyed that order. Thankfully you've got Accounting to stop the purchase in time _before_ we were committed to the finance for it. Officer David, the American Embassy have given me a full report of _your_ activities with Guardsman you encountered _and_ the fact that you assaulted a police officer. I sure you'll agree that your behaviour was not only immature but _highly_ unacceptable. What is also unacceptable is for agents under my command, wearing the badge, and sent to represent this Agency, thought that it was a better idea to play hooky, to network in the local coffee shop or participate in a bar brawl. Let me make this clear gentleman, I do _not_ want to have to make another call to SecNav like that again."

Jen narrowed her eyes in anger as she mocked the conversation she'd had with SecNav,

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mr Secretary, but I need your assistance to sort out a potential international situation with three of my agents. _What's the problem Director?_ _Did they get kidnapped by terrorists?_ _Were they the victims of a set up, framing them for something they didn't do, to embarrass this country or put themselves in a stronger bargaining position?_"

She stood up and walked to the front of her desk,

"Oh, no, Mr Secretary, it's just that I have two agents, who walked into a bar, started a fight and then got themselves arrested. _Where was the team leader Director?_ Oh, I'm sorry sir, you see the team leader, was sitting on his ass in a coffee shop at the time, but that's okay, because he went to bail the other two agents out, like a good little team leader. _Well that's a relief isn't it Director._ Well, not entirely sir, actually the team leader, the one who is supposed to be a lot more mature and wiser, also found himself in a cell for threatening to assault a senior police officer. _Well, Director Shepherd, I'll bail you out again, on this occasion, however, I want your personal assurance that you will see to it that this never happens again. I don't have to tell you how badly it reflects on you when you can't manage your team!_"

Jen folded her arms angrily across her chest, "You bet your ass I will. Mr Secretary!"

Jethro Gibbs had grown tired of Jen's tirade. When it was clear that she had finished, he sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets,

"I think we get the message Jen," he grumbled.

"What _the hell_ do you have to say for yourselves?"

Ziva frowned, "Did you say, the team leader was in a _coffee shop_?"

"Can it Ziva!" Gibbs snapped.

Tony looked confused, "Wait a minute! Were you and Fornell _'networking'_ at _Starbucks_ when you made us attend those stupid seminars?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "I gave you all a direct order and you damned well disobeyed me, end of story!"

"Gibbs! That's not fair, if you and..."

"Enough Abby! You all screwed up and you knew what the consequences would be. Now get out of here and wait for me outside the conference room!"

"Gibbs!" Abby protested once more.

"NOW! Abby!" he barked loudly.

"Abby," Jen said as the team headed reluctantly towards the door.

The entire team stopped and turned to face the Director,

"Special Agent Gibbs is not the only one who is facing punishment, trust me."

She looked at him straight in the eye and glared, "You have one hour Jethro, and then I want you back in this office. Believe me, you still have a heck of a lot more reflecting to do about 'consequences', as you so eloquently put it!"

Gibbs sneered and made for the door, brushing past the team and heading quickly for the stairs,

"You four, conference room, now! I'm going to the head!"

_To be continued..._


	11. Consequences I Girls

**********Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - Okay, there's a warning here, this chapter contains spanking. Please click the back button now if you've got a problem reading this.**

* * *

Standing nervously outside the conference room, Tony paced the floor.

"What is it with you, and all the pacing up and down!" Tim snapped.

Tony stopped abruptly, "You never heard of fight, flight or compliance Probie? I'd have to have a serious death wish if I thought I could fight Gibbs, and my stomach is pretty much _heaving_ knowing exactly what '_compliance'_ is. So, my legs are following their natural self preservation instinct to run. As far away from this place as possible. It's only my sheer will power _and_ my incredible strength of character, that's stopping me from not being in my car already, and half way to the Mexican border!"

Tim huffed, "I'm sorry, Tony. I'm just nervous that's all! I hate this waiting, and it's only been three minutes!"

Abby continued to bite her nails viciously. Ziva on the other hand, leaned casually against the wall, silent and expressionless, awaiting her fate.

Tony shoved his hands into his pockets and let out a long slow breath.

"Did anyone manage to buy anything for Ducky?"

The each shook their heads, "not even some of that chocolate he likes?"

Heads were shaken once more and he raised his eyes to the ceiling.

"Guess he's gonna join the long line of people that we've pissed off over the last few days, when he finds out we went all the way to London, and didn't bri..."

Gibbs approaching stomp, immediately silenced Tony, and the team parted like a wave, as he stormed towards the conference room door.

"David!" he barked, as he opened the door and stepped inside.

Ziva leaned up from the wall, and pouted, before giving a small smile to the rest of her team mates. She then walked, with her head held high, into the conference room.

Gibbs was perched on the edge of the table, with his arms folded, when Ziva entered. She closed the door gently behind her.

"Okay, you want to tell me, exactly _why_ you think you are here?"

"I think the Director explained it all perfectly clearly, Gibbs. There was an incident with a Guardsman, which she chose to find...unacceptable."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes, "_Chose to_? I'd watch your attitude David! You know damned well you behaved like a teenage tourist with that soldier, and nothing like a federal agent. However, that said, you're response to the police officer was _way_ out of line!"

"It was an automatic response! He approached me from behind and I attacked. What would you have me do? Ignore it when someone grabs my shoulder?"

He shook his head, "I'm not _saying_ that you should not act on your instincts! I'm saying that you need to work on them more to take into account your surroundings. Your Mossad training is what makes you an excellent NCIS agent, _but_, it's the skill of being aware of your environment _and_ acting on your instincts, is what you need to work on."

She huffed and rolled her eyes, strangely feeling resentment towards him, for pointing out her weakness. It confused her, because she could not deny anything which he had said.

"I will try harder," she eventually muttered in defeat.

"I know you will Ziva, and I'm going to help you."

Her face displayed her confusion.

"I've got a tried and tested incentive, which my old C.O. used to swear by," he said sternly as he stood up and reached down for his belt.

She swallowed hard and looked into his eyes, hoping that he could see into her soul and realise that she was already sorry for her actions and for being such a disappointment to him.

"I know, that you feel like you've let me down Ziva. We all make mistakes and take wrong decisions and I trust you to learn from this experience. When we're done here, it's all done. Your slate is clean and we both move on from this whole sorry mess!"

She moved her eyes from the floor to meet his gaze, wondering if he really could see into her soul. Words couldn't form in her mind to respond, so she opened her mouth and without thinking, said the first thing that popped into her tired brain,

"I thought you never said the word sorry."

He raised his eyebrow, secretly admiring her courage to talk back to him in the way she'd done. Especially as he was about to burn her six.

"Only, in the company of friends, Ziva," he replied, before doubling over his belt and nodding in the direction of the table.

She took in a deep breath and approached the table, bending over as she done on previous occasions. It was a few seconds before she felt the first burst of fire across her backside and she gasped at the pain. The sound continued to ring in her ears, much like a machine gun, until she found herself providing an accompaniment, in the form of a few muffled yelps.

Finally it was over.

"Ziva," he said quietly as he patted her shoulder.

She stood up, stiffly and sniffed, her glassy eyes eventually homing in on Gibb's face, immediately locking onto his gentle eyes. He threw his arms around her shoulders and held her tight, not leaving any room for her to refuse the embrace or misunderstand the fact that all had been forgiven. He whispered in her ear,

"Are we clear on acceptable behaviour when you are representing this Agency, and in the presence of an armed officer or soldier, and, that you answer your cell phone?"

"Uh...huh",

He lifted her, and holding her shoulders at arms length he stared hard.

"Then we're done. You're dismissed, Officer David,"

She nodded and then hesitated slightly to move to the door, "The Director, she is not serious about you..."

He halted her words with a raise of his hand, "She's _my_ problem Ziva. I wouldn't exactly call her a problem, just one more person to deal with."

He jerked his head towards the door, signalling that it was time for her to depart. She slowly made her way to the door. With her back to him, she allowed her face to relax, and display the discomfort she was in. Placing a sweaty palm on the handle, she heard his voice once more, already back to the sterner tone he had used when she had first entered the room.

"Send in Abby."

In Ziva's absence, the team had been silently occupying their minds and thoughts with anything other than the muffled sounds coming from the conference room. McGee recited mathematical formulae in his mind. Abby moved on from chewing her fingers, to gnawing on the top of the water bottle she'd gotten on the flight. Tony tongued his bottom lip, and tried to count and recount the dirt specks on the carpet.

The door eventually opened and Ziva emerged. She looked sympathetically at Abby,

"Gibbs, uh...Abby," she stuttered.

Abby threw her arms around her neck and hugged her silently, until a loud voice came from the conference room,

"Abigail Scuito!"

She jumped off Ziva, and looked to Tony and Tim, before taking a couple of steps towards the door and stopping abruptly.

"Today! Abby!" the voice bellowed once more.

There was no questioning his tone, and the fact that she had to move damned quickly. She trotted into the room, immediately slamming the door behind her and stood with her back to it, hesitant to move any further.

Gibbs stood with his arms folded and frowned at her. She looked at him warily, and then her eyes were drawn to his belt, lying on the table.

"Before we left for London, I recall warning you about your behaviour and new equipment. I _also_ remember giving you a _second_ warning before we went to the seminar. You want to tell me _why_, after I told you twice, that you decided to disobey me, by first of all choosing to attend the exhibition, and not the seminar I asked you to, and second of all, purchasing an _extremely_ expensive piece of equipment, without the required authority? Not to mention falsely putting DiNozzo's details on the order form!"

She swallowed hard, concentrating intensely on trying to manage both her head, and her mouth, so that they worked in tandem, without the danger of getting her into any more trouble.

"I...uh....."

The silence was agony as she processed the right words,

"You see...."

He continued to stare at her as she struggled to respond. Eventually her head and her mouth disconnected, and her whole body seemed to flop in defeat and remorse.

"I know what I did was wrong and I should have listened to you more and it looks like I disobeyed you twice and that is _so_ not good! But the guy was _really_ nice and before I knew it, Gibbs, I was signing things. And I know I should have gone and cancelled it when Tony told me, but, at that point in time I forgot all about you. Well not entirely forgot all about you, Gibbs, because you are like, unforgettable, once seen, always remembered, Leroy, Jethro, Gibbs! You've got that kind of face, you see. I think it may be your eyes or your hair, you have memorable hair and eyes. And you see, I didn't cancel the order, and then I was at the airport with Tony, and I just remembered, and I should have said something, but I thought I would fix it when I got home. And well the Director said that the order had gone through and I should've...I didn't...I thought that....I couldn't,"

She took in a deep breath, and ran to him, tears in her eyes, as she held onto him for dear life.

"I'm _so_ sorry Gibbs! I screwed up, and you're never gonna be able to trust me again!" she spluttered into his shoulder.

He held her for a moment before he lifted her gently. His eyes were stern and instantly recognised that her approach hadn't softened him at all.

"You're damned right you screwed up," he growled.

Her eyes flickered back to the table, and she sniffed hard. She stood for a few moments as she calmed down,

"There's no way I'm getting out of here without you, you know, huh?"

He shook his head from side to side slowly with a barely visible smirk,

"I suppose, I..uh...kinda deserve it, huh?"

This time, he nodded in agreement.

The silence dragged on and her mind raced and her stomach churned. Her mind still hadn't reached the stage, where it could possibly embrace, what was about to happen. In a last attempt at avoidance, she recalled the earlier conversation with the Director. She frowned and took a step backwards,

"It's not like I'm the _only_ one at fault here Gibbs!" she snapped defiantly,

In response, he jerked his head back, startled with surprise at her outburst.

"Explain!" he barked in response.

"Well. If you and Fornell hadn't...."

He quickly took a step forward, his eyes dangerously zoned in on her face. She could feel his breath on her face and was grateful that he wasn't any closer, else her eyes would loose all focus on him.

"Some advice Abby, _think_ before you say one more word. You are already in enough trouble, for us to be having this conversation. I'd hate to have to repeat it, every morning, for a week, because of what's about to come out of your mouth."

"You wouldn't!" she gasped in surprise at his serious threat.

He raised his eyebrow, letting his silence provide enough of a response.

"Okay, you would."

With a curt nod of his head he walked back towards the table and was about to lift the belt from it, when he turned around and perched himself on the edge. He judged that there was still too much of Abby's behaviour to unpack, before he could deal with consequences and her much craved for, forgiveness.

She managed to take a few, small steps forward, in his wake. As he sat on the table, she froze to the spot once more. Inevitably, but slowly, she came to realise that she had run out of defiant, avoidance tactics. The only problem she had now, was that her stomach wouldn't let her take that next step forward towards acceptance. Not just yet.

"I realise I did the wrong thing Gibbs, it's just that..."

He eyes softened, hating seeing her struggle to make sense of herself.

"Just what Abby?" he said gently.

"I kinda lost it a little, and it was exciting! And I really, really, really wanted that new mass spectrometer, Gibbs! It was just _so_ cool!"

"You _behaved_ like a kid in a candy store. You know there's a reason why kids aren't allowed to run riot like that. They get too excited and can't judge or decide when to stop eating. So they fill themselves with too much sugar, till they throw up."

The corners of her mouth drooped childishly, and she knew at once where he was going with this.

"You're _not_ a kid Abby. I expected better judgement _and_ self control from you. But if you insist on behaving like a kid, then perhaps the memory of being punished like one may help you in future to make more mature choices, no matter how shiny the wrappers are."

In that instant, he made a decision to change his tactic. He sighed, before taking one of the conference room chairs from the table and placing it in an empty space, and sitting on it. Abby knew instantly what was about to happen,

"Oh, no, Gibbs please! Not over your knee!" she began to protest.

He beckoned her with his finger, and she instinctively took one step back, shaking her head from side to side.

"Abigail Scuito, get over here now!" he said sternly,

"This sucks to the power of ten, Gibbs! You know you are _seriously_ teetering on the brink of being struck of my Christmas card list!"

He rolled his eyes and stood up, advancing on her and taking hold of her upper arm. He gently guided her over to the chair.

"I do not have the time Abby, to chaperone you, when I give you an order. I expect to you to be mature enough to resist the temptation to stray off topic when I'm not around."

"I _am_ mature Gibbs! Just like cheese! Although, I'm not a huge fan of cheese. I don't understand that blue streaky stuff, and some of it just stinks! Worse than Tony's gym gear."

He was growing tired of her continued attempts to accept her fate and he took her in his arms and hugged her tightly,

"Abby, you said it yourself, you deserved this. Now, we can either continue to play these games, or, we can get this over with. I know that you're tired, but I'm not letting you leave here before we deal with the consequences of your actions. You can drag this out as long as it takes, but trust me, your patience will run out, well before mine. I'm not having this hang over your head for any longer than is necessary! That's now how this works. That's not how_ I_ work, and you know that!"

She dissolved in his arms, in exhausted defeat at trying to fight it any longer. All she wanted now, was for that huge knot in her stomach and that cloud permanently attached to her frontal lobe to magically disappear. He lifted her gently and she looked at him with wide remorseful eyes,

"Sorry, Gibbs," she said quietly, pouting, as her tell tale sign that she was ready to accept whatever Gibbs had planned for her.

He kissed the top of her forehead and sat down on the chair, pulling her over his lap. He settled her into position and then delivered a blistering smack to the seat of her pants.

She gasped and as he continued to bring his hand down over and over again and wriggled in a vain attempt to avoid the sting of his hand.

"Okay! Okay! No more mass....ow! specs.....I promise! Ouch!"

With two final hard swats he finished. He promptly stood up, his larger frame seemingly towering over her and he held her fast. He held her in complete silence, letting his arms simply send the message that all was done and forgiven. She sniffled into his jacket and eventually calmed down enough to break free from his grip and stand unaided.

"Would it be okay if the next time, the Director decides to send us to a conference that I just stay here?"

He couldn't help but break into a smile, and he put his arm around her shoulder as he guided her towards the door,

"I guarantee you, Abby, the next time the Director mentions a conference, I'm locking you in your lab!"

She sniffed hard and gave a smile as he he held the conference room door open for her. She walked slowly into the silent corridor to the awaiting Tim and Tony. There was only one word which shattered that silence.

"Mu-Ghee!"

_To be continued..._


	12. Consequences II Boys

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**********Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

**A/N - WARNING This chapter contains spanking! Please the back button now if you've got a problem reading this. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. NOW!**

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"Oh crap," Tim sighed as he closed his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath.

"And my not-so-loyal Saint Bernard!" Gibbs continued.

Tony gasped, "he's not really gonna have one of us frickin' spectate is he?"

Abby threw up her hands, "sorry guys, you're on your own, I'm outta here!"

"You two have until the count of three, to get in here! One. Two."

Tim and Tony leapt towards the conference room door and both struggled to enter at the same time. After a few squeezed nudges, they entered the room and Tim closed the door behind him.

"Three," Gibbs smirked as he sat perched on the table.

"Okay, we're going to take this from the top. I want to know what happened, from the moment you went into the bar, till the moment you were arrested. DiNozzo, you first!"

"What happened to your rule about never letting suspects stay together?"

"The term 'suspect' DiNozzo, in my book, usually implies 'criminal'. Am I to assume that you are taking full responsibility for the fight?"

Tony laughed nervously, "No! That's _not_ what I meant."

Gibbs smiled wryly, "DiNozzo, you do know that I can always tell when you're lying don't you?"

"Yes boss, I do know that. And I know that you know, that you know I would never lie to you. You know."

Gibbs stood up from the table and stepped a little closer to Tony and he stared intensely into his eyes.

"Did you start the fight?"

Tony whimpered, "N...no...boss."

"Then who did?"

"Didn't Taylor tell you that those English guys started beating us up?"

"Rule three Tony, I'm on the double checking part. Who started the fight?"

"It wasn't me boss, I swear."

The older agent sighed and continued to stare hard into the younger man's eyes.

"Okay Tony, I believe you. I didn't ask if you started it, but if _you_ didn't, who did?"

Tony glanced sideways at Tim, who was standing shuffling nervously from one foot to another. He held his hands behind his back, his sweaty fingers twitching nervously.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, "_McGee_ start it?"

Tim gasped in horror, "NO! I didn't start it! Tony was beating into Sacks on the floor and I tried to pull him off and he shoved me into that crowd of guys. They were gonna kill me when Tony and Sacks came over and started picking them off one by one!"

Tony closed his eyes and hung his head low. His stomach heaved as Tim blurted out the whole story. If he had any doubt up until that moment, that he was in big trouble, it was now long gone. He swallowed hard as he realised his ass was pretty much toast.

"Are you telling me, McGee, that you never threw a punch?"

Tim's face pinked up immediately. All through this whole escapade, he had kept the reality of the situation to himself. Truth be told, he'd been as embarrassed as hell that he couldn't stand up for himself. He'd played the whole scene in his mind, over and over again. His stomach still churned at the feeling of the two Englishmen standing over him with angry eyes, while all he could do was lie there frozen to the spot. If Tony and Sacks hadn't seen what was coming and immediately stepped in and began throwing punches, he was pretty sure that he would be sporting a broken nose and jaw by now.

"N..not exactly...b..boss." Tim blurted with shame.

The look on his face was all that Gibbs needed. At that moment he had a clear understanding of what had gone on. Big brother had been in a fight which little brother had gotten mixed up in somehow. It was evident that big brother had sorted it out, no questions asked and saved little brothers ass. He gave a small smile. At least some of the rules had penetrated Tony's head, especially number fifteen, 'always work as a team'. However, his concern was for the younger of the two agents facing him. He looked with fatherly concern to Tim, still blushing with embarassment.

"You didn't defend yourself McGee?" Gibbs said gently,

Much to his shame and annoyance, Tim could feel his eyes glassing over over. He hated the fact that Gibbs always had that uncanny knack of hitting the nail on the head and going straight for that button inside his head that made him feel like he was back in high school again. Yet again, his physical weaknesses were being put on display for everyone to see.

He couldn't form any words and hung his head low.

"You're dismissed for now McGee. Get your gym gear sorted though. You and I will be spending two hours every day next week in the gym. Next time you will be prepared, if you need to defend yourself. You're a good agent Tim, but when the time comes, I need your brilliant mind and sometimes your fists to be able to keep you from getting yourself seriously harmed or worse."

Tim groaned loudly at the prospect. More than anything he hated Gibbs' gym sessions. They took him way out of his comfort zone and by the end he always felt physically and emotionally exhausted. The only upside of the sessions he'd endured before, was that Gibbs had given him his undivided attention, without him having to cope with Tony at his shoulder. Despite the aches in his entire body, Gibbs was always there, never teasing him for not being as strong as him or Tony.

This time, tired from the journey, his whole body lurched into protest mode. His shoulders sagged and he began pouting like a five year old,

"A full week? Boss, come on! Can't you just...uh...sp...give me the same as what you gave Abby and Ziva and then it's all done? It's a _whole_ week boss!"

Gibbs looked surprised at Tim's protest. It wasn't like the younger agent to answer back so vehemently. He chalked it down to tiredness and simply stepped forward and took hold of Tim's arm firmly and led him towards the door.

"My job McGee, is to give you what you need when you screw up, not what you want."

Tim winced, "But a _whole week_ boss?" he said again with a pitifully weak voice.

"Whining'll only get you two weeks McRocky! So suck it up and take your punishment like a real man!" Tony jeered.

Gibbs spun his head round and gave Tony a threatening look. The steely glare was enough to silence him immediately. Gibbs opened the door and began to push Tim out of the door.

"Get out of here McGee, before I _do_ change my mind _and_ give you both."

Tim gulped and shot out of the door and Gibbs closed it behind him. In the corridor, he stood a moment, weighed down by the sense of impending doom at his punishment. As he continued to stand a wave of relief then washed over him. Apart from Gibbs, he took a little comfort, in the fact that he'd be the _only_ one , able to sit the next day. He breathed a sigh of relief and headed back to the bullpen.

Anthony DiNozzo, by the time Tim had finished landing him well and truly in it, had accepted his fate. Well, there was a small, logical part of his brain that had accepted it. His mouth, his gut and his sweaty palms, however, were an entirely different story.

Gibbs frowned and returned to the table, perching himself on the side once more.

"Why were you knocking hell out of Sacks?" he asked with concern, his voice however, still bearing a tone that meant business.

There was a hesitant silence, before Tony thrust his hands in his pockets and stood like an errant teenager, freshly caught from sneaking in after curfew.

"Cos he started it," he mumbled.

"Not good enough DiNozzo!"

"Sacks threw the first punch Gibbs! I swear!"

"Why?"

"Because.....because he hates me....because he just did!"

Gibbs stood up and whacked him upside the head,

"WHY?"

"Ow! Okay, okay!"

He began rubbing the back of his head. Another pointed look from Gibbs immediately loosened his tongue,

"I'd kinda been teasing him about his name all day and uh, he just lost it and decided to whack me on the jaw."

"And do you think that's acceptable behaviour for a federal agent?"

"Loosing control like that and throwing a punch at fellow agent? No, I do not. It's extremely unprofessional. Fornell should read him the riot act boss!"

Gibbs exhaled and rubbed his hands over his face, growing increasingly exasperated at his senior field agent's failure to recognise his mistakes and take responsibility for his actions,

"I'm not _talking_ about the punch DiNozzo, I'm talking about you _acting_ like a schoolboy, bullying Sacks!"

"He _punched_ me!" Tony responded, his mouth opened in disbelief at his boss' accusations.

"You goaded him, and behaved like a kid, DiNozzo, just like you're doing now trying to avoid responsibility for your actions by blaming _everyone_ but yourself!"

Tony's mouthed flapped wordlessly,

"When I look at you DiNozzo, most times I see very clearly, the excellent team leader that I know you can be. But the stunts you pull, tell me that my job still isn't finished with you yet. Hell, you'd _never_ make team leader if I had to write up every damned prank you play or every mess you get yourself and your co-workers in to."

He sighed and placed both hands on the broad shoulders of the younger agent, hoping his measured voice, might get through to Tony.

"You're the senior field agent Tony. That _means_ you have a responsibility not only to yourself, but to me and the rest of the team. I need to be able to keep in touch with you, for the safety of the entire team. I cannot have you deciding when and when not, to respond to your cell phone. The rule is there for a reason and _you_ know that. You also know, that McGee and others will follow where you lead them, because they respect you _and_ you have that leadership quality Tony. You can't deny that. It's _my_ job to make sure that you put your team first and that you _think_ off all the consequences before taking a decision. It's no different from thinking through a plan, before you carry out a raid, you think about the team. You _think_ about consequences."

Tony had stood in silence, as Gibbs had chewed him out. Gibbs had looked him in the eye the entire time, with sincere concern and as he spoke, he began to feel that thud in his stomach. It was the utter feeling of disappointment in not only letting Gibbs down, but letting himself down.

He looked with remorse at Gibbs, "The guys just wanted a good time, and you said we weren't going to do anything and they wanted me to sort everything so they had fun."

Gibbs smiled, "Yeah, sometimes, being the leader sucks Tony. But I needed everyone to focus on the conference and then we would have sorted something later on. Hell, I'm not that much of a bastard."

"I didn't think about that boss," he replied sheepishly.

Gibbs took his finger and tapped him gently on the forehead.

"Well, that seems to be the problem, doesn't it DiNozzo," he said sternly, "perhaps we need something to help you remember in future. Make sure my Senior Field Agent stays on topic huh?"

Tony sighed, recognising instantly where Gibbs was heading with that loaded statement,

"Yeah boss," he said, with defeat.

Gibbs walked over to the table and picked up his belt, refolding it in half. Tony took in a deep breath and walked over to the table and bent over. In a moment, he felt Gibbs strong hand on his back, before he heard his voice once more,

"You'll be an excellent team leader one day Tony. You just need to pick up a few lessons on the way before you get there. If I can learn them, so can you."

"Did Mike always tell you, you'd make a great team leader?" Tony replied, his forehead touching the cool table.

"Every single time I was in the position you're in just now DiNozzo. Trust me, every single damned time."

Tony's eyes widened at the revelation that the roles had been reversed for his boss and he turned his head to face Gibbs,

"You mean...."

He sentence was cut short as Gibbs landed his belt hard across his backside.

"Ow! Shit! Boss! That hurt!"

Without a response Gibbs continued to lay his belt down again and again across Tony's butt. The younger agent hissed at each stinging stroke, and eventually let out a muffled squeal. Gibbs threw the belt on the table and placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. He lifted him up gently from the table.

"What you said about Mike...." he sniffed as he caught his breath.

A smile broke across Gibbs face, "Uh-huh."

Tony swallowed hard and then looked hard at his boss, desperate for one more sign of his approval and forgiveness,

"You really think I'll be a good team leader?"

"Uh-huh," Gibbs replied once more, before taking Tony into a hug,

"One who answers his cell phone, doesn't act like a three year old and looks out for one thing and one thing only."

Gibbs lifted him from the hug and stood in front of him,

"Pizza?" Tony joked.

He raised a stern eyebrow, inwardly sensing that Tony was teasing him.

"My team," Tony responded seriously, "thank you boss."

Gibbs nodded his head in acknowledgement, "Get out of here DiNozzo!"

Tony turned towards the door and Gibbs put his belt back on,

"You sure you shouldn't leave that off for the Director, boss? She did seem pretty pissed at you, for the whole coffee shop thing."

Gibbs laughed as he straightened his jacket and headed to join Tony at the door,

"Tony, would you ever let McGee do what I just did to you?"

Tony shook his head, "Not a chance in hell!"

"Jen was my Probie, DiNozzo. You figure it out!"

Tony smiled and then, walking stiffly, headed towards the bullpen.

Jethro Gibbs checked his watch and counted down the last remaining minute as he stood outside Jen's office. With a coffee in one hand, he smirked confidently as he placed his hand on the door handle.

"Once a Probie, always a Probie!" he whispered with a smile.

_To be continued..._

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	13. Once a Probie, Always a Probie!

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**********Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS.**

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**

A/N (1) - This is the concluding chapter, in what has been my longest story (so far). I don't know about Gibbs and the team, but I'm a bit shattered after their journey. LOL!

**I'd like to just to thank everyone for all of the reviews and support that they've given me. I might have thrown in the towel at numerous points in this story, but your reviews really spurred me on to write it to its conclusion. A big thank you, to all of you, especially those who have PM'd me, to keep me going!**

**I sincerely hope that you like the conclusion to the story**

**Take care,**

**Paperhat ;0)**

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**A/N (2) - WARNING! This chapter contains spanking! Please click the back button now if you've got a problem reading this. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. NOW!**

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He thrust the door open heavily and waltzed in, taking a sip of his hot coffee, before taking up position in front of Jen's desk. As he moved the cup from his mouth slowly, he then checked his watch and then smiled with sweetly at Jen.

"Yeeeah?" he drawled flippantly.

"Close the door Jethro."

"Nah, I'm not planning on staying. This won't take long," he responded quietly as he took another sip of coffee, and remained in front of her desk.

She pursed her lips tight. His blasé attitude immediately raised her hackles, but she willed herself to calm down and take a breath. She needed to hang on to the fact that it was _her_ name on the door. Not his.

"What have you got to say for yourself?"

He stood for a few moments, as though deep in thought, and then grinned wickedly, his eyes sparkling at the sight of Jen squirming,

"I didn't think I knew that much about DNA, but you know, I actually do."

"_Excuse me_?" she replied raising both eyebrows at his response.

"We, uh, did one of those seminar things. It was _reasonably_ interesting."

She could feel her stomach tense with anger,

"I am not _talking_ about the content of the damned conference Jethro, I'm _talking_ about you going AWOL with Fornell and knocking back caffeine, while your team was running riot in the streets of London!"

"Was it Fornell who told you where we were?" he frowned.

She huffed, closed her eyes and gripped the bridge of her nose.

"Okay Jethro, let me communicate this to you, in words even a _Marine_ would understand."

He shoved one hand in his pocket and smirked,

"My radar's fully operative Jen," he said, taking another long sip of coffee.

"Fornell told me everything. However, I want a reason from you, _why_ you think it is acceptable to leave your team unsupervised and spend an entire afternoon in Starbucks, when you should have been attending the seminars which this Agency booked and paid for. Furthermore, I'd _really_ welcome your insight into why you think it is okay to assault a law enforcement officer resulting in me having to bail your ass out of a cell?"

Her slow, calm deliberate voice had increased in pitch, till she was practically squealing.

"After all, it's _not_ like I didn't warn you Jethro, to keep yourself and your team out of trouble!"

He stood silently, letting his grin respond.

"WELL?" she barked.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I _want_ an explanation Jethro! I need to understand why you screwed up, before we move on to consequences! You know the drill! It was you invented it for crying out loud! You screw up, you admit what you did and then you take the consequences and then its over and done. No paperwork, no recriminations! Just good old fashioned discipline!"

He laughed out loud, "You _seriously_ think I'm gonna let you whip me Jen?"

"No."

He snapped his head back, flabbergasted at her response, not entirely believing what he'd heard.

"What?"

It was her turn to chuckle. She leaned back in her chair.

"Come on Jethro, I wouldn't humiliate you like that. Having your Probie take a belt to your backside? I don't think so!"

He finished his coffee, his anger and tiredness beginning to wilt the care-free attitude which he intended to put on display for Jen. He took a few steps around her desk and hurled the empty coffee cup into her trash can.

"Then what the hell was that, '_whatever applies to your team, applies to you_' crap that you gave me earlier? Hell, I've got DiNozzo, telling me to keep my belt off for you!"

"I meant what I said!" Jen snapped.

He snapped. Driven by total confusion.

"Oh for the love of God Jen, I wish you'd make up your damned mind. Okay, I went for a coffee with Fornell. It's _not_ a big deal. And if you want me to apologise for trying to make that stupid son of a bitch see sense, when he had my team locked up for no damned reason, then you're in for a _long_ wait. But whatever's on your mind Director, I wish you would just get it off your damned chest, so I can get the hell out of here, get some sleep and put this nightmare _behind_ me."

His voice had reached 'Gunny extremely pissed off' volume and his face was increasingly reddening as his anger reached fever pitch,

"If you _think_, I'm gonna stand here and listen...."

**WHACK!**

His neck jolted forward violently at the force of the blow on the back of his head. As the stinging pain penetrated his skull, he immediately recognised the aroma of stale cigarettes which tingled his nostrils. In an instant Jethro Gibb's stomach lurched into his throat and he spun around in shock.

"MIKE?"

He gasped at the scowling figure in front of him.

"Wh...what the hell you doing here?"

"Act like a Probie and get treated like one Jethro!" Jen's voice snarled behind him.

His face contorted with a mixture of confusion and disbelief, "_What?_"

"You heard me. As you were flying back, I contacted Mike and told him the whole story. I decided to _use my initiative_ Jethro, and get some of advice on how I should handle this."

She smiled and nodded to Mike, acknowledging his arrival before she continued,

"Well, first of all he advised me to haul your ass to the SecNav and let him deal with you. However, he decided that if you think it's acceptable to go AWOL, leaving your team behind to screw up, then you've obviously forgotten a few of the lessons that both he _and_ the Corps taught you!"

Gibbs heart was pounding. The look on Mike's face was one that he'd seen all too often. He swallowed hard, denial still overpowering his voice.

"This is ridiculous," he growled as he turned towards the door, intent on leaving.

Mike Franks stood tall, blocking his path. He looked at Gibbs straight in the eye,

"I haven't seen that attitude in a long while Jethro. If I had any doubt, that Jenny here, needed me to sort you out boy, then you've just confirmed it. I see we really do need to have a conversation."

Gibbs eyes widened, recalling instantly, how a '_conversation_' with Mike, didn't involve many words, just a whole lot of actions.

"Mike...."

The former agent raised his hand to silence him and he did so instantly.

"Director, I don't think Jethro will be repeating his poor lack of judgement again. And I'm pretty sure that he regrets his actions. Isn't that right Gunny?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes to the ceiling defiantly, an action which caused him to miss the hand which swiftly collided with the back of his head once more.

He hissed at the sharp slap to his head and then scowled at Jen,

"Yeah," he responded quietly, his voice laced with contempt.

Mike raised his hand once more, with a warning glare,

"Yes, Director," he corrected himself as he glanced warily at Mike.

Mike smiled, and nodded.

"I think it's time you lent us your office Director. I'd like to go over a few of those obviously forgotten lessons with Jethro, if you don't mind."

Jennifer Shepherd rose with smug assurance from her chair, and headed towards the door, before leaving she turned back,

"I'm giving the team permission to leave Agent Gibbs, you are also dismissed after you have, shall we say, been _taught your lesson_."

He clenched his teeth with anger. Only the presence of his mentor ensured complete silence on his part.

With Jen departing Mike Franks walked slowly to the door and closed it quietly before turning the lock. As he turned, his hands slipped to his waist and he locked eyes on his former Probie. The former marine instinctively took a couple of steps back in retreat.

"You've gotta be kidding boss," he whispered in protest.

In the bullpen, the team, including Abby, were hanging around, waiting for Gibbs to return. With the exception of McGee, each was standing around, opting to leave sitting for just a little while longer. The bounding footsteps of the Director descending the staircase drew their eyes towards her.

"I'm sure that Gibbs has dealt with each of you. You all have my permission to leave. I will expect each of you at your desks tomorrow."

She waited, expecting them to begin to gather their gear and depart. However, she then recalled Gibbs insistence on the chain of command and reluctantly accepted that there was no way they would go, without Gibbs giving them permission. Sensing that her orders would be ignored, she flapped her mouth, wordlessly, huffed loudly and then headed back up the stairs.

"I'll be in MTAC if anyone wants me!" she snapped.

"Where's Gibbs?" Tony whispered.

Gibbs finally yelped, totally and utterly defeated. He'd lost count of the number of times Mike had brought his belt down across his backside. It had felt like an eternity as he had furiously gone through the whole gamut of emotions from denial, fear, guilt and then finally acceptance of his mentors' discipline. Just as he thought that it would never stop, he couldn't help but rest his forehead on the table and hiss loudly at each blistering stroke that was delivered to his rear end.

Finally, thankfully, Mike judged he was done.

"Up you get Probie," Mike said gently.

He took a few seconds to comply, as he tried to regulate his breathing and slowly stood, wincing with discomfort. His eyes were transfixed on Mike as he replaced his belt back into the loops of his pants.

"You know that saying, Probie, 'bout not being able to teach an old dog new tricks? Well it's a pile of bull! Listen good devil dog. You'll never be in a position where you're too old to get a reminder of the lessons you've picked up over the years. You're far too good a Marine and an agent for you to think that you can do whatever the hell you please. Are we clear?"

He nodded in response, unable to form any words, just yet.

Mike raised an eyebrow, uncannily in Gibbs fashion, demanding a verbal response.

"Yes, Mike," he responded huskily.

Mike put his arm around Gibb's neck and beamed,

"Come on Gunny, let's get those kids of yours sent home, you sure look like you could spend a few hours in the rack."

Gibbs walked stiffly with Mike towards the door.

"Can I ask you one question Mike?"

Mike nodded in agreement,

"When did you realise I'd make a good team leader?"

Mike stepped back, taken totally unawares by the question. He finally grinned,

"The day you traded your cammy greens for an NIS badge Probie. I don't accept deadbeat agents on my team. You should know that by now!"

Gibbs managed a smile, despite the incredible pain in his butt.

Together both men headed towards the bullpen.

The team stood bewildered at the sight of Mike Franks and an extremely stiff Agent Gibbs descending the staircase. Tony swallowed hard and winced in sympathy. There was no doubt in his mind, after what he'd learned from Gibbs just over an hour earlier, what had just gone on. Standing in front of the team, Gibbs straightened himself up and inhaled deeply.

"I thought the Director gave you permission to go home?" he said, his voice still a little hoarse.

There was silence and he nodded, acknowledging that it was his permission they were waiting for.

"Go home," he croaked.

Immediately, they grabbed their gear, and began heading towards the elevator ahead of Gibbs and Mike who followed on behind, bags in hand.

"You need a place to stay Mike?"

"No. Because I'm staying with you tonight," Mike said crustily.

Gibbs nodded his head and entered the crowded elevator.

"I hear you caused quite a stir in England," Mike said, directing his frown to Tony.

"Uh, you could, put it like that...uh, yeah, just a little," Tony replied awkwardly.

"I think it will be a long while before the Director gives us permission to attend another conference," Ziva added.

"There won't _be_ a next time!" Gibbs snapped back in response, his eyes still staring straight ahead.

From the back of the elevator, Abby gasped, "Why Gibbs? Is it because we screwed up so much?"

"No," he replied.

"Then why wouldn't you go to another conference Gibbs?" she probed further.

"_Because_, Abby," he turned to glare at her quickly, before turning his head back.

He winced slightly and sighed, before snatching a guarded glance at Mike,

"Because conferences are just a pain in the ass!"

Mike Franks roared with laughter and the tense awkwardness in the elevator disappeared as one by one, the team groaned and then smiled in mutual sympathy with one another.

Jethro Gibbs eventually afforded himself a wry grin,

"Wait till I get my hands on Fornell."

THE END


End file.
